As I write this it's 2.11am; I've not long got home. Mostly, of course, because I did a show miles away (turns out 'near Swindon' wasn't really the case, it was basically Devon) but also because in this country they decide to close down all the roads at 11pm. Seriously, it's like in Father Ted when they have 'taken the roads in' - it's tiring enough driving back at bastard-o-clock as it is, but it's even worse when when you get diverted through the middle of a town (Farnham) because they've closed down one junction at a motorway for essential maintenance, so essential there's nobody actually working on it. This country is taking the pleasure out of driving. Not that I've driven anywhere else.
I didn't have a great night. The day was fine, I was doing some freelance stuff in the office and managed to panic a computer programmer by getting a bit carried away. I get the feeling I'm enjoying being there more than they're enjoying me being around.
Long drive to Warminster. Used the sat-nav on my phone, which is amazing because, unlike my actual sat-nav, it tells me the correct roads to get onto. The only problem being my lack of cigarette lighter, so it drains the battery - the 'battery low' light was flashing when I was on a road known as 'unnamed' - the venue really was in the middle of nowhere but luckily my battery held out, dying just as I was parking up, and I charged it up during the show. The show frustrated me tonight; it should have been fine; a lovely village bar, and they put me in the function room. The audience were old, but then again - they always are these days, aren't they? For both band and comedy stuff. But this table of 7 old ladies just talked all the way through the show - it was like they were having their own party, yet they'd come for the show. I don't understand it, and yes, I was a bit snappy to one of them but she deserved it, to be honest I wish I said more than "well, if you had been actually listening for the last half an hour you would know who Jeff is, so sorry, I'm not going to explain it again." My friend Steve, and his wife Cathy, turned up - unexpectedly, to surprise me, and I felt sorry for them, I just kind of did the show to them in the end. They're awesome people, but those old ladies...seriously, look at yourselves, and your lack of basic manners. I drove 4 hours to fucking entertain you, be grateful.
Ironically, it was my best night for tips, maybe it was an apology from them, I don't know, but I made quite a bit tonight, more than the sold out show on Monday, even, I had a rubbish show, but somehow made better by a drink with the lovely Laura afterwards, the bar manager who booked me in the first place, and was so apologetic about her clientèle, she's my favourite new person I've met on tour so far. As much as I didn't enjoy the performance, I'm rather keen to find a way to be in Warminster again...
Long drive home because clearly this country haven't finished building the roads yet. I'm tired, and I have to work tomorrow, and then find Coalbrookedale, wherever/whatever that is.
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