Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Wednesday 30th March 2016 (part 2)

So as I sit here, having written my blog a little earlier than normal just to get it off my to-do list, I realise I'm a little drunk on 1 and a half beers and that I've spent the last hour and a half emailing around desperately trying to get a show in Corby.

There's a logic to this, of course there is...I'm on tour, a gap has just appeared, I need something fairly local as my car probably wouldn't cope with anything outside of East Anglia right now. It's just a little light, though, a little 'engine' light. Maybe I could take the bulb out.

Anyway, as I sit here, worried about what a lightweight I am (but quite relieved because it means I could never be an alcoholic), I do have my doubts. I mean, the show tonight was really poor - I lost them on the 'big balls' thing, which is about five minutes into the show, and never really got them back. The highlight was when a dog came into the room and took the attention off me for a bit.

Should I really be touring this? And even if it ends up being the best thing I've ever done (it will be, it just needs a couple months to settle - it's following the same annoying pattern as my last two shows...shit for a while, shit for a bit longer...and then quite good), is touring, constantly, actually the way to go? Yet, it seems, it's all I know.

Come on, Corby. Corbers. Don't let me down.

Wednesday 30th March 2016

My stress levels may have just hit the roof, but more on that in a second.

Today was okay, worked four hours from home, don't feel like I've achieved much but the boss (who I was chatting to on email) described the thing I was doing as being 'perfect'.

Re-wrote the new show a bit, added in some funky lines, and then realised the 'Make or Break...' tour is creeping up and there's still too many TBA's with that.

Evening performance of the newly written show, another house show - this time around Clare's house. It didn't feel great (somebody even fell asleep during it), but then again it the last one didn't feel great there either and they still wanted me back this year. Some people just don't show their enjoyment, do they?

Feeling low about the show, I got back to an email from one of the tour venues saying the venue is likely to have been sold by the time I performed there...so can I perform it there next week? It doesn't feel like a show at the moment, but I have no choice in the matter - the money is really good. Basically, I've got about 5 days to turn this into a proper show, and learn the full 65 minutes of dialogue.

Uh oh.

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Tuesday 29th March 2016

It's just relentless isn't it, you know, life? Today was a busy one...mostly because of the emails, so many emails, which are coming in quicker than I'd like. All with offers for the shows - some for the '50 Ways...' live one, some for the more generic Richards hour. I can see myself getting very confused in June when I'm touring both of them - too many words!

And after all that I only confirmed 2, but one of them I am particularly excited about, because the venue are excited about having me and that's all it takes, isn't it? 

Worked really hard with the freelance stuff this morning, mostly because I've now got my own client to deal with. I even have to give technical advice. I give it a week before the other guy steps in. 

Popped back to St Ives to take Mum shopping, and then had a rehearsal with Guilliuame ahead of the France tour next month. Easy songs, lots of laughs. 

Got back, panicked realising I have a lounge show tomorrow and this show isn't anywhere near ready, so now re-writing it frantically. 


Monday 28th March 2016

A Bank Holiday Monday but for us pesky freelancers that doesn't make much difference really.

On my to-do list for Thursday was "add bits and touch up novel" but, having played a couple function gigs this weekend, I felt inspired to do that today.

6 hours of solid writing, and the story itself feels like it has a bit of beef to it now. Back to the proofreader...at some point I'll actually have to release this one.

Lovely evening catching up with Vicky, and then Kim. I feel so relaxed I'm basically sleeping.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Sunday 27th March 2016

Easter. I am aware the car is likely to explode at any moment, which is a harsh reminder to keep being thrifty. I mean, it doesn't go over 60 miles an hour now...it's never been particularly fast, but it's getting worse.

As close as I get to a day off today; drove (slowly) to Mum's for Sunday lunch with her and sis, and stayed for dinner too. Mum loved having both of us there, both of her kids. We should probably do that more often.

The dog bit me on the arse.

Made so many notes on my phone for future projects. Really great, brilliant future projects. And then got frustrated because the projects I have at the moment, which are all really strong, I feel, are filling up my days. I need more time, somehow.

Turned down social offers to go home and work on these notes just so, you know, I do find a few more hours in the day to work on some stuff.

Saturday 26th March 2016

After losing a fight with my printer this morning (wanted it to print out all 26 episodes of the soap, but, despite new ink and paper, it clapped out at 3) I was in Cambridge for a fairly long early afternoon of reading through the material. I met up with Emma an hour before for a spot of lunch to discuss her character in this, and to talk about the Christmas film, but alas - as always we just chatted (gossiped, even) about everything else and it was quite unproductive.

The reading was fine; it works, the cast that were available were in good spirits and got into their characters easily enough (some had to work harder than others; for example Josh and Izzy seemed really comfortable from the start, whilst Alan was working particularly hard to find a 'voice' for his part. Emma, meanwhile, has been messaging me constantly about her character and as a result seems to understand it better than I do). There's a few dud lines, but nothing that can't be fixed. This is going to be a lot of work, but really, very, very doable and I've got a lovely team here.

Then dashed over to the band HQ to load up and then over to Kimbolton to play a wedding gig in the castle there. Wedding gigs are our bread and butter, it's proper professional, jobbing musician stuff - the wedding set is 100% cheese and we play it perhaps without the gusto of our main project. But we play it well, we're so tight, we're worryingly strong as a function band. Always a plan b, I guess? I hope we never have to do plan b permanently, but this keeps the bills paid. Nice audience, nice vibes.


Friday, 25 March 2016

Friday 25th March 2016

Somehow had a hangover, despite only drinking 3 pints last night. I'm getting old. Look at me: my neck is merging into my FACE, my hair is going grey, I can't hold my beer. I said "hello" to a stranger today in Ely. Only old people say hello to strangers in the street.

Anyway.

After another lecture from Mum about lack of grandchildren (what am I supposed to do? Find a girl, ask for her consent, and bash one out now?) I headed back to mine this morning - I stayed at Mum's as the curry house I was meeting friends in last night was just down the road but still, I should have just driven and not drank to be honest. Anyway, got back, read through all 26 episodes of the soap ahead of the cast reading tomorrow. Really glad that Lara is about for the reading, she's got a big part to play in all this.

Christmas tour stuff continues to be discussed. Yet it was not the Christmas tour I was personally planning the other day. And I've still got last year's show (which never happened, due to Dad passing, of course), and the musical (because actors are unreliable) in the bag too, which suddenly makes my festive season look a bit daft, doesn't it? Because we'll have band xmas specials too. So I'll be doing 4 different shows in a month which feels annoyingly over after 24 days because there's no point in doing live work after Christmas in December. Yet, why am I getting stressed about this now, it's March?

Went to Tesco and got angry about the lack of Easter Eggs. It's Easter weekend, of all times, you should have eggs.

Spoke to a few more friends about my car. It could be the head gasket, you know. That's not good. Obvs.

Evening covers gig with G+V. Some dick shouted "it looks like the Beatles have reformed" because G and myself both have...well, hair. He repeated it several times during the evening and even his own friends didn't laugh. Let's be honest, dude, if the Beatles had reformed, they wouldn't be playing in a pub in Stretham.

Gig itself was fine. No more than fine, just fine. It felt like I job, I mean - I wouldn't do these gigs for free, let's put it that way.

Thursday 24th March 2016

I can't work out if being this on top of my to-do list thing means I'm really well organised, or that my lists just aren't ambitious enough.

Either way, comfortably did my freelance tasks in the morning - it's repetitive as anything but listened to a couple awesome podcasts which got me through.

Confirmed another local preview slot for fringe show, this one in a tiny village - rubbish money but no PR needed as it'll have a guaranteed audience. Tried and, as it stands, failed to get another Southampton show.

Opened email talks with a very good music promoter about a very exciting music/storytelling tour show, that will be a Christmas UK tour. I get to tell stories, and a singer-songwriter gets to play songs, we'll mix it all up a bit and create a lovely wintry feast of a show. Very early days yet, but already about 10 emails exchanged to discuss logistics.

My car clearly doesn't like being driven at the moment.

Evening - lovely dinner with Rohan and Chris, great catch up in good company, and studio time booked for our jazz record in September.

Stayed at Mum's as it's walking distance, she gave me a bit of a lecture and said that her (and Dads) happiness had been "robbed" because I never gave him grandchildren. Bit harsh. I'll let it go.

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Wednesday 23rd March 2016

Still really confused by my car. Started the engine this morning and it had about 10 miles worth of fuel less than it did yesterday, but then was really economical in my drive, as if to make up for it. People keep telling me different things, today's one is that it's probably the sensor, getting confused about much fuel I have, but I'm not actually losing any. It's all very confusing, but I'm quite attached to this one - I don't want to let it go just yet. It feels like my car is ill, but hasn't gone yet. But maybe, finally, on it's last legs, after being put through quite a lot.

If it can get me through the next tour (furthest it will go is Bristol), the tour after that (the furthest it will go is Newcastle) and the tour after that (the furthest it will go is the Shetland Islands) then I'm happy to wave goodbye to it. Come on, we can do this! Hold on till October you rusty bastard!

Went into the office today, got stuff done. Had a meeting with the boss who said everything I'm doing is "all great" but...I don't know, the vibes there are so quiet, it's really fucking weird. I've been thinking about this, it's not just quiet, it's actually offensive. Still, I only have to go in one day a week from now on (contract says 1-2 days but the boss says he's confident in what I'm doing).

Solo show in Southampton has been cancelled due to a double booking...that was the opening night of my tour. Bit niggled by it, but remained friendly as I do like that venue. Went back on the correspondence, you know - the correspondence that confirmed the show, and got a bit angry. To myself, quietly in the corner. The comedy shows aren't quite working out at the moment, it's fine with the band stuff because I'm in good bands that are well managed, but the comedy is just failing to launch this year. I need to up my game.

Evening - charity event for my mate Phill's crazy project. I'm not a huge fan of the venue, but it worked really well - great mix of acts, Steve in particular was a treat, and Ian is an incredible songwriter. We (Claudia and band) headlined it, and I was also the MC, in the loosest sense - no banter, literally just introduced the acts...it's a pub, it's all they needed. It was a nice evening; a long evening, but a successful one.

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Tuesday 22nd March 2016

Mostly stressful things today to be honest: family stuff (which has every right to be stressful, still, given the situation), car stuff (my petrol goes down every time I go over a speed bump), dog stuff (she keeps biting me).

Other than that, did 3 hours freelancing this morning. Got offered and accepted a really nice solo date in Birmingham...it's in November, so that probably means I'll be touring in November, then. Made some notes for an album called 'Everything is on the Verge of Breaking' (possibly for the yet-to-be-formed Paul Richards & the Jazzy Bastards) and had an argument with somebody on a forum purely because we've only booked 2 female comedians for this forthcoming run of stand-up shows. My argument was pretty strong (we book on availability and merit, not gender - this isn't about gender, it's about making money for charity), and I deleted the word 'prick' before posting. But he was an absolute prick.

I need to calm down.

Started plotting a very different Christmas tour. Really should be tweaking the soap opera scripts and writing the musical instead.

Monday, 21 March 2016

Monday 21st March 2016

My second heavy cold of the year and it's only March.

Learning to ignore that engine light on my car.

Still freaked out about my mate Martin having that heart attack, turns out it was a really, really big one and he's lucky to be alive. I know all this because he put it on Facebook earlier. I guess he has to let people know he's okay, I'm not going to judge.

Mum's having a tough day too, with just memories and stuff. Everyone's on the verge of breaking, aren't they? I need to be more like my mate Helen; if anything goes wrong she goes and has an adventure without the need for boring stuff - the admin of life and all that gets forgotten when you're on a boat.

Put a good long day in of office work - 7 hours, which will go nicely towards the 20-25 that I'm contracted to do for them. Launched into some banter at about midday, was good, but didn't last long.

Rescheduled my evening rehearsal with Guilliuame as there's no point in drumming if I'm just going to be snotting all over his lovely new floor. We'll jam next week.

Got back and totally nailed the final episode of the soap - episode 26, boom! I think it's good, there's a line or two which may be unconformable but apart from that...done! Psychologically I've enjoyed quite an adventure with these characters, I'm quite sad that it's ended, really. Well, we still have to film it all, I guess.

Sunday 20th March 2016

5 hours sleep, and then up early to take Mum (plus the dog, and my sister) to the latest place Mum is potentially moving to. Deepest Lincolnshire this time. Looks nice.

Engine warning light flashing on my dashboard...alarm bells, alarm bells. I'm sure it's fine, I'll just stick a bit of blue tack over it or something.

Got home, somehow, and made notes for episode 26 - the grand finale.

Saturday 19th March 2016

Treated myself to a lie-in (not purely because of the free beer from last night, well...). Responded to a few gig offers and then popped over to G+V's to put our new logo on my bass drum, looks awesome. We spent too long doing it, but worthwhile.

Long but simple trip to Maidenhead with the band, lovely arts centre gig. Nearly sold out, great sound, long soundcheck which is always appreciated, we were looked after very well indeed. Gig was great, they were really into it tonight. After the last song I dashed back to the dressing room for a wee but the rest of the band went straight back on stage and told the audience I was in the toilet. I then legged it back on, took a wrong turn, fell through a curtain and eventually back to the stage...the crowd loved it, it was so funny (to them) it could have been scripted.

Fun gig, perfect set, spirits are high. Home by 2.30am.

Saturday, 19 March 2016

Friday 18th March 2016

Day started a bit slowly, mostly because I was writing bits and bobs late last night - mostly for a Christmas film.

Did the rest of my freelance hours (about another 3 and a half), approached the rest of the cast I want for the soap (all of whom have replied straight away, and all apart from one person has said yes, which is lovely) and then made notes for the series finale...bailed out starting to write it though, this one needs focused Paul, not dashing about Paul. 

Met up with the band mid-afternoon and made the slow trip to Oxford.

Really shocked to hear that a close friend of mine, Martin, had a heart attack today. Martin was pretty much the man responsible for me becoming a "flexible" drummer - when I joined a band with him back in 2001 I was 20 years old, spotty and playing angry rock drums...he was much older and was kind of a mentor for a few years in the band we played in and we've remained good friends ever since, last year it was great to catch up when he 'sacked' me for the film. He survived his heart attack and is now stable, but it did scare us all a bit - my thoughts are with his wife Sally. 

The gig was okay; we were supporting a big signed band (who we've supported a few times) but as ever, as the second act on, we certainly didn't have the best of crowds - they were chatting, mostly. Sound was really great, though, and made a couple new fans. Had a lovely dinner, got to take home half a case of free beer (Ali took the other half, being the only other person in the band who drinks) and was home by midnight, so could be worse. 

Friday, 18 March 2016

Thursday 17th March 2016

Episode 25 just wrote itself really...I feel like an excitable writer working without restrictions at the moment, it's lovely. Episode 26 will be the last one...filming 26 episodes over two months is a mighty task (considering I still haven't quite confirmed Chloe to be in it yet, and keep forgetting to email Lara) but it can be done. And this will be something special, I feel - possibly stronger than the film. I don't know, everything looks good on paper, doesn't it?

Will take my time on the final episode, there's plenty of loose ends to tie in.

Tried to fix my clothes rail in my bedroom but actually made it worse; it tumbled down upon me and I was trapped for a short while under a pile of metal and clothes. I'm not very good at DIY - I tried to install a security camera for my mum the other day but, a week later, it apparently still doesn't light up.

Caught up on freelance emails and stuff for a bit, and then surprised Mum with a visit. Played tug of war with the dog, I won, and then she lunged into me...my arm was bleeding for a bit as a result and was late for the gig because of it.

The gig, complete with really soar arm, was a St Paddy's night gig. As rowdy as fuck. Covers gig with G+V, really grateful that our regular supporter, Ashley made it down as he ended up catching our speakers as drunks fell into them. There was spillages everywhere, people tumbling over...and it's a tiny, tiny venue so everything was a bit too close for comfort. People drank a lot last night, everyone got a bit carried away and it was just leery and horrible...a bloke in the front (a rugby player, I think) kept looking at V and shouting "you make me hard". Charming. That's the type of thuggish clientele we had to entertain. Horrible show that could have got nasty, we only gave them one encore and got the equipment out as quickly as we could. Minutes after we'd packed away, a massive fight kicked off on the street - stemming from the venue. 2 women, fighting over a man, and then the man joined in, kicking the venue's window and shouting "let me at her, let me at her," - there was a big crowd of them, all really going for each other. I was trying to do a u-turn at the time in my car and then the fight spread to directly in front of me so I couldn't move. Ripped shirts and blood everywhere. Stay classy, St Ives.

On the way back I stopped to buy some beer from a garage and the seemingly friendly till assistant got really aggressive with the card machine when it was taking too long to load up and started shouting "scan you bastard" at it repeatedly. People in that town just need to chill out a bit.

Home by 1am, wrote it all down for a future project.

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Wednesday 16th March 2016

Was so sleepy last night but then stayed up till 2am making notes for a Christmas film and was rubbish this morning. Was a little hungry on the way home tonight so ate 2 packets of crisps and a bag of wine gums and then didn't feel like my dinner. Basically, I'm 34, but I'm still a child.

Anyway, don't tell anyone this, but, I actually quite enjoyed being in the office today. Mostly because I understood what I was supposed to be doing and it's a nice project that I could immerse myself into. Put a lot of hours in today, doing the marketing equivalent to dirty work, meaning that the rest of the week should be a doddle, especially as I'm working from home so don't have to do comb my hair or anything.

Been offered a really lovely proper nice lovely so nice lovely tour date for a venue in Derby. They watched my tour documentary from last year (the one where I just moaned a lot about lack of audiences) and then offered me a slot? I think they feel sorry for me. Either way, I'm happy with this one, but there is no logical place on the tour for it unless I zigzag a bit, which I inevitably will.

I take back what I said last night about the soap opera - it can be done in less episodes. 26 perhaps. Wrote episode 24 tonight and it has revelations a plenty. Quite excited by it.

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Tuesday 15th March 2016

I'm so disciplined today it's ridiculous. Is this really me?! Got stuff done; 3 hours working from home watching a promo video about a product I have a meeting for tomorrow, and then wrote down some questions to prove that I actually watched it (simple questions - let's keep their expectations regarding my intellect nice and low).

Then was a good boy and took Mum to the various shops she 'needed' to go to, and then let the dog rip my leg apart for an hour or so.

Home and, after confirming 2 shows, actually switched my phone off for 5 hours! And in that time wrote episode 22 and then episode 23...all before midnight. Really fond of these two; both full of cliffhangers and revelations, stuff that's been building up for about 15 episodes all finally coming out. I'm honestly, arrogantly, of the thinking this is the best thing I've written by some distance.

See, the problem is - I decided the other day to end this series early, say at episode 26 (keep it tight, and because 'practical' people like Izzy may think that 30 episodes is pushing it if we're filming the whole lot in 2 months) but I can't - I'm really into these characters now, they deserve time and development, and 30 episodes is enough time for the story to be told properly. And that has to be a really good thing, yeah?

Monday, 14 March 2016

Monday 14th March 2016

Long day in the office, not helped by the fact that I couldn't park anywhere near it due to a burst water main meaning the road was closed. Had to walk a mile and a half in but did it in 11 minutes, such is the nature of my long legs.

Good to get some hours up, still really painfully awkward lack of conversation and when I do banter it just isn't working at all. Uuuughhh.

David's confirmed the line-up for the charity shows and it's fantastic, and all very exciting.

Lovely dinner with the very lovely Anna (and her dog, Tibi, who really took a shine to me). Just lovely, yep.

Got back, replied to gig offers emails, and then nailed episode 21. Too tired to tell if it's any good or not at this stage.

Sunday 13th March 2016

Up early, having had 4 hours sleep, and drove Mum to Great Yarmouth to look at a potential house for her to live in. It's the same one she wasn't keen on last time, this was just a draining, pointless round trip. Still, the dog was playing up, which I enjoyed - she's a character, in these sometimes depressing times her attacking 3 Alsatians (at the same time) thinking she could win offers much amusement.

Back to Cambs, recording session with Daisy. Really fun session, the FH crew producing it well, drums feeling good.

Another late night, another nice project in the can.

Saturday 12th March 2016

Hungover. How did we both get hungover after just 4 beers? We're getting old. It's horrible.

Back to mine, wrote the rest of episode 20...well, I started it from scratch, actually, as the one I started the other day read awkwardly. This is is a great episode, you know, really clever, if I may say so myself. And visually so different from the others. I'm quite proud of myself.

Was making great progress with episode 21 before realising I was late for soundcheck.

Dashed over to FH HQ, in the people carrier and off to Market Harborough. A bit of tension in the ranks, tiredness perhaps, and the fact that our live DVD sounds pretty ropy so we're probably not going to be releasing it.

Gig was a cracker though, any tension/brief moments of snapping at each other gone as soon as we hit the stage. That was a really fun gig, pressure-free, great audience, fantastic vibe with 2 encores.

Friday 11th March 2016

Went into the office a bit, day ticked over nicely enough I guess. I'm still incredibly different to everyone else there, but it's friendly enough I suppose. Managed to note down some cracking ideas for the tour show too, just one-liners...the kind of lines that can actually make this show, the kind of nice moments that it's been lacking so far.

Great catch up with Rob - he's a top notch comic and ultra professional. Really worked on some ideas, exchanged some notes, we'll do some shows together soon I think. He comes from a different side of the comedy industry to me (he's very much a circuit pro) but we're both keen to help each other out. Some useful contacts gained from our catch up.

And then off to see my old mate Andy; nice evening, if a further reminder that he's all grown up with a kid, career and mortgage and I'm still banging on about these shows. I still think I'm on the right path, though.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Thursday 10th March 2016

Am really feeling a buzz about this soap opera of ours. To the extent I woke up early and made a start on episode 19, before realising I was supposed to be freelancing.

Did that for 3 hours, before popping out to see Mum (moods up and down, in quite dramatic fashion, despite me only being there for a couple hours) and then over to a massive theatre (267 capacity) to have a big meeting about a huge musical that I've not even started writing yet. Good meeting, enjoyed it, ending with an offer for a 3 night run in October...but so many risks, that I'm not going to get involved with. If the others want to do it, then fine - they can, but I need to be 'just' the writer for that one. Being a producer for a show of that size is a full-time job in itself, and I reckon I have about 8 part-time jobs as it is.

And then over to Wolfson College to return to the role of 'Clive' (a character I played last year) in another one of Tom's funny but quite crude scripts. Enjoyed it a lot (and I had my doubts beforehand), Chloe was a joy to perform alongside, filming was intense - did the whole lot in 4 hours, but it was really nice. It was written completely for me (Tom's had it for a while but I've not been available), lovely, stumbling awkward man stuff - I get confused around a girl, fall over, say some things I shouldn't do, look perplexed and do the whole 'massive eyes' thing...standard Richards stuff, but the praise was heaped upon me tonight because I do awkward so well. And I know I do...I'm a limited actor, so incredibly limited, but give me a role like that and...yeah, easy.

So, I think the last few months I've started to realise who I am, what I can do:

I am a: drummer, awkward actor, playwright (of short sitcom-things)
I can get away with: Latin/African percussion, stand-up comedy, basic film making
I am not really a: producer, songwriter
I still have no idea if I am a: novelist (will find out in July when the book comes out)

Good to know what to build on, isn't it?

Got back, nailed episode 19 like a legend. Started writing episode 20, but drank beer instead.

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Wednesday 9th March 2016

Freelanced for 6 hours (plus a ridiculous amount of travel time as for some reason in Cambridge it's acceptable to put up roadworks during rush hour), I don't mind it there but it would be an exaggeration to say I liked it...nobody talks, I feel like a weirdo, I giggle to myself because they've made me this way. Etc.

Had an email offer from another band keen on my services, had a look, turned it down. Felt great. I'm not going to curse this or anything, but I feel so incredibly musically satisfied right now with what I've got. It's a lovely feeling.

Great reading of the first 8 episodes of the soap tonight with Alan, Izzy and Emma - these scripts work! Phew! That's a relief. I think they more than work; the characters feel really defined already. I think this could be awesome. I mean, I still need to write another 12 episodes (I've been stuck on number 18 for a while now) and I don't have any time at all, ever, but it's a really beautiful thing we could have here. This could be amazing, you know. Or a delightful if tacky thing made on a mobile. No, it will be amazing.

I know I do this to myself but my schedule is ridiculous - tomorrow I have a big meeting in a huge theatre to sell them a musical I've not written yet. It's all spiraling out of control, yet I'm quite enjoying it at the same time.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Tuesday 8th March 2016

I'm taking on too much at the moment. I know I am. I enjoy it, mostly, but today I looked at my to-do list and panicked a little.

Mostly because I had to do some 'proper' work first of all, which took up 5 hours of my day. I then approached more people to see if they fancy being in the soap opera (already confirmed Izzy, Emma, Josh, Alan, Sarah and probably Katie if we can catch her on her weekly Cambridge visits).

Trying to fill in the gaps of my existing tour schedule niggled me because this show doesn't seem to be grabbing people, despite the fact that I wrote loads of really funny new bits for it late last night - but I guess they don't know that. Did some PR for the existing dates in April.

Approached every major publisher in the UK about the forthcoming book version of '50 Ways...'. I won't go for a US publisher this time; I got $8 in royalties the other day for US sales of a book I wrote two years ago. I was paid by cheque, but the fee from the bank to convert it was £8. I was actually making a loss cashing in on my own royalties! Fucks. Sake.

Have the best idea ever for a feature film and just want to write it. When, though? I still need to write the other 12 episodes of the soap, and the 4 Lab musical, and then various bits for various people for Edinburgh.

Evening gig with Claudia et al was fine; first half a bit sloppy, second half great - just like the gig with them the other day. It's a set-list thing, I think. Great to meet up with Jo, have cast her in the soap. Most of my mates are in this soap, to be honest.

Need to learn my lines for 'Clive's Date' at some point, as it's being filmed on Thursday night. I'm not the writer of this, but I've been cast in the lead. I've been cast as the awkward loser on a date, not that I'm type cast or anything.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Monday 7th March 2016

Judgement day: car MOT day.

Dropped it off at the garage, almost felt emotional.

Had promo photos for the new show taken by Chris in St Ives town centre, was nice to catch up. Randomly bumped into my old pal Michael so we hung out for a bit, and a random bloke came up to me and started praising my comedy shows, and couldn't believe that I was in St Ives as he thought I was Cambridge-based (yeah, because it's so far away), and it was a really flattering conversation. No idea who he was.

Car passed it's MOT! Well, 3 lights were out but they fixed those. Some worrying things on the 'advisory' notes, but I'll pretend I didn't see those. So relieved. What a car! How does it keep doing this?

Popped around Mum's and took her shopping, like the good son I am. Dog bit my ankle.

Got back, feel refreshed - so relieved about the car. Did some more washing, cleaned my bathroom, tidied so that I can actually get to my bed without jumping over a pile of Jools Holland CDs! Yeah, I'm on it, this is THE week to achieve things. Which is ironic, because today, from a career point of view, I've achieved absolutely fuck all.

Sunday 6th March 2016

So tired. Because, despite getting back so late, I still insisted on watching Dad's Army, which is always my post-gig ritual.

And then up by 10am to panic buy a Mother's Day present, and then meet up with Mum for a lovely roast. Took the dog for a long walk, which made Mum happy, and got in a takeaway for dinner...which, being 3 hours after a roast, didn't feel great.

Been offered a tour show at a Women's Institute. Hhhmm.

Evening went to see Footlights with my mate Vicky. Great to catch up with Vicky, it's been too long (Christmas was the last time, I think), Footlights weren't quite on it tonight. I still enjoyed it, though, and have rediscovered the joys of actually going to watch a show...I'm on stage so much myself these days I need to watch and listen to other people.

Saturday 5th March 2016

Woke early in a travel lodge in Salisbury with a hangover, full breakfast with the guys in a Little Chef around the corner and over to the venue in time for our 11am soundcheck. Cracking venue - a chapel arts centre, beautiful acoustics and easy set-up. Great show, that one, audience really up for it, set was spot-on, nice dressing room and good food provided. Lovely. It was a record for people calling me the 'happiest drummer' - 7 people IN A ROW. One person even said they came back to watch us (having seen us last year) just because of my smiling. Too much, Salisbury, too much.

Then, after selling and signing various copies of the album, we were back in the car and over to Bath for the evening gig. Frustrating start - couldn't get in, nobody was there, but eventually by 5pm we could start unloading.

Soundcheck didn't feel great; my snare was clearly too loud for the room, yet the room was massive and I was using rods, not sticks, but the acoustics just weren't making me feel comfortable.

Nice to catch up with Matt as he joined us for the gig and a KFC before the meal. Show as an odd one; I think technically that's the best we've played all tour, but the audience - and there was a good turnout - were so quiet, even if they did enjoy it, and I feel we struggled to develop a spark with them. Nice gig, but I didn't come off stage buzzing like I have done on a few nights of this tour already. Salisbury earlier in the day felt more alive, even if it was a midday concert.

Did an interview for a Bristol blog afterwards which went well, although I really hope they don't put the bit in about my needing a girlfriend. He wrote it down and smiled, I bet it does go in.

Long drive home (for Gaf, the rest of us were passengers playing with our smartphones), I was home by 4am.

Friday 4th March 2016

Put in 3 hours of freelance work in the morning; it's a bit weird doing a sales/marketing role when they're not actually expecting me to get any new clients - it's more about keeping the name out there.

Tried and failed to get some more covers gigs for G+V, simply because with the covers we don't want to travel too far and yet we don't really want to play at weekends because of our main band commitments.

Scheduled a bunch of emails to go out about 'The Make or Break...' tour, that should go out as I'm away tomorrow.

Really got stressed writing episode 18, it's such a big episode. Got there in the end, but shouldn't have taken 4 hours.

Met up with the band, got in Gaf's fancy new people carrier (which makes life so much easier for touring in the future, even if we crammed so much in my legs were sideways the whole trip) and down to Salisbury. There we watched the tour documentary, that I finished making earlier that day, and then as the others fell asleep Bunners and I drank cider till 3am chatting about women.

Friday, 4 March 2016

Thursday 3rd March 2016

Finished episode 17, I fear it's the 'mid-season' slump so decided to not work on episode 18 today as my head needs a rest from it all.

Instead did about 6 hours freelance work and got more excited than any man should do about my new bass drum head...spend the best part of an hour tuning, re-tuning and occasionally dribbling because drums are so beautiful.

My schedule is starting to get confusing, April in particular looks just crazy with the end of the band tour, then my solo tour, and then a tour of France...I can't see many days off in there, yet that is when we're supposed to be filming the soap? Uh oh, I can see things getting caffeinated.

Evening gig with the band in Bishop's Stortford. A lot of waiting around and another late one, but packed crowd. We played really well tonight, were really on it.

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Wednesday 2nd March 2016

Up early, did three hours of freelance research from home, and then spent an hour or so working on episode 17 of the soap. Didn't get it finished but made good progress on it.

Spent the day doing my best to keep Mum's spirits up (the dog is fine, by the way, and not ill, as I always knew was the case). Failed, mostly, but nobody said this was going to be easy.

Confirmed some more evening shows and got scarily excited by the arrival of a new bass drum head.

Evening show with the band in Norwich; not sure how a gig so local can still find me getting back at 2am, but it was a decent night; nice audience, easy set-up, pressure-free show with lots of happy moments.


Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Tuesday 1st March 2016

As I write this, I'm listening to the first Curtis Stigers album on Spotify - it was one of Dad's favourite albums; I remember long trips in the car with him to Devon with the cassette of this on repeat, both ways of the journey. I don't know why I put it on, maybe to provoke a reaction in myself perhaps? There is one, but not really emotional...I'm just sat here thinking: he had a really strange music taste, sometimes. I mean, it's a nice enough record, but really? Curtis Stigers?

Anyway, today was okay. Did a full day in the office, watched a conference call, tried some mild banter which worked on some levels, didn't work other times.

Back home, completely nailed episode 16. Took the best part of 3 and a half hours, but it's got some nice moments in it. Structurally not the best in the series (it's almost like I had lots of ideas right at the end so the scenes are really snappy, but the first couple of scenes are much slower...it may work?).

Spurs could go top of the league tomorrow. We're playing a gig in Norwich. This might be a 'phone on stage' awkward kinda show.