Tuesday 28th August 2018

Right, enough of this lounging around. Up early-ish and took Mum shopping and caught up with her for the best part of three and a half weeks. The dog was well excited to see me and wouldn't let me out of her sight, Mum was both happy to have me back and annoyed that I missed a family funeral whilst away. Why does everyone have to die in August?

From there over to A's, where I turned up, fell asleep on the sofa and was exhausted company the whole night as she watched some Baking programme on Channel 4. It's like we're an old married couple already...

Monday 27th August 2018

A Bank Holiday but let's be honest, all of the days merge into one after a while - not just because of the fringe, but because I'm a freelancer who just doesn't stop. Until today, of course, but the doctor has told me to. For a week. I don't know how to stop, I'm just an agitated mess...shingles is terrible because you're exhausted yet too itchy to sleep.

So that was my day; I managed to sleep until 1pm, I replied to a bunch of important emails that had been left hanging in my inbox for the best part of a month, I worked on A's birthday surprise (I don't think she reads this blog) (I hope not) and watched 5 episodes of Only Fools and Horses. This is as close as I get to actually stopping.

7th August - 26th August 2018

The flat we were sharing with the cast was getting mighty crowded; it's tough having to use the front room as my bedroom. It shouldn't be, but as it's joined onto the kitchen it did mean that any sense of privacy was out of the window as actors milled around making drinks at any time of day as I was trying to kip. My girlfriend also came up, as we were sharing the room it shouldn't be a problem, but sharing what felt like the world's most uncomfortable double sofa bed clearly was. Maybe if we were younger this wouldn't have been a problem, or maybe if it was for a couple nights...but she's 30, I'm 37, the idea of two and a bit weeks of this wasn't something either of us were keen on. Also, the fact that the show wasn't going well didn't help - it's a top, top show that we were all proud to be associated with, but getting numbers in was becoming a problem and, sadly, my cast may have had very high expectations going into this run, as much as I often tried to dampen that. And then I got shingles, which fucking hurts. I let it go for a few days, dismissing it as a rash, and then self-diagnosing it (via Google) as hives. By the time I eventually got to a proper GP, he gave me a lecture for leaving it for so long, and for doing so much (not just the fringe stuff, but working 12 hours a day in the months before it just to pay for everything...I was knackered on arrival) and basically told me it would eventually fix itself, but he gave me some strong painkillers and ordered me to rest whenever possible. Doing 5 shows a day made that difficult, but I could get lie-ins, as I didn't have to be at my first venue till 11am, and there was also a cat-nap space between 5.30pm-7pm. But I couldn't do either of these things because my bedroom was the lounge. Luckily...okay, more than luckily, it turns out A had a friend who owned a flat in Edinburgh and they weren't using it, so posted up the keys and we were there for the final two weeks. We had gone from being totally cramped, to having a 5-bedroomed central flat to ourselves. They didn't want paying, but I've bunged them £100 as a thank you - they could have easily charged four grand for that space. 

It was one of those little acts of kindness that you get at the fringe, sometimes in the struggle there's little reminders of nice we can all be to each other. Another example of this could be found at my first venue for the day; not wishing to sound ungrateful, but it was probably the worst venue at the fringe. By the end they were breaching every health and safety regulation going, but that aside it was in the middle of nowhere, seemingly miles from the rest of the festival, and when you eventually got there it was still not clear from the outside that it was a venue. And then once you got inside, the performance room itself still wasn't obvious. Still, once you got in, it wasn't such a bad room - a small, nightclub space, with a little PA and 50 chairs. 50 chairs that needed putting out every morning by the first act of the day, because it was still being used as a nightclub at night. I was that first act, and begrudged the fact I had to put out 50 chairs only for nobody to sit in them anyway because who would come out this far for a midday show, even if it has won awards? This was for my Short Plays...show that I am most proud of. But the thing is, despite getting there on time to do this every day, whenever I turned up, it had already been done...by a 65-year-old man called Alan, who had a show on there at 3.45pm himself but didn't think it was fair that I had to do it, so EVERY day he got up early and did it for me. I became good friends with Alan, especially when I inevitably didn't have an audience for this show (it only happened 8 times out of a potential 22 performances, even then the average crowd size was 2, biggest was 7) - when there was a no-show, I stayed in the venue for the hour anyway and Alan and I ranted about what a mess it was, but also chatted about comedy, music, life, everything. 

This was a stark contrast to the venue where I was doing my afternoon set about JJ...this was in a central venue, easy to get punters in and, whilst it was only ever rammed for me at the weekends, I was pretty much always in double figures. The problem was the show itself, which took about a week to settle. The intro, the actual point of the show and the punchline were the strongest bits I've ever written, but too much of it dragged in the middle and I found myself putting in a bit from last year's show (the 'sexy thighs/back' song and a routine about not being able to end telephone conversations) to gel it together and, once I realised this worked, the show itself was lovely. But it shouldn't have taken 7 days for that to happen. 7 days of below-par storytelling. I had a typically wide range of audiences: a hen party (who were great, but really chatty - to me, as I was trying to do the show, it felt more like a Q&A at times), rooms full of old people (the tone changes considerably when this happens), other comedians (hate doing shows to them - it's like they're spying on me), Australian tourists who film everything (but also say nice things about the show, as I've found out) and proper Joe Jackson fans who just want to geek out with me - which is lovely, but often half of the room don't know who JJ is and they're just there for stand-up in an established, quality venue, so it becomes hard to keep everyone happy. On the whole, I think I did - some of the best gigs I had there were to smaller audiences...I freak out when the room is full. Luckily, that was barely the case anyway. 

My little Comedians Drumming show should have worked better, it wasn't until week 3 that I realised having three guests a show instead of two upped the intensity of the whole thing, and switching the order of the rounds around made the audience more invested from the start. At times, the show was spectacularly brilliant, other times the audience were watching comedians having a drum lesson and just not finding it funny as I said, "Edinburgh Fringe guys, this is happening, this is technically a show..." on repeat. It all comes down to the quality of the guests...there was certainly a reason why I invited a select number of them back to be in the show again in the final week because it made my life a lot easier. The venue was unconventional but central enough and well-equipped for what I do (ie; I was allowed to store my drum kit in the kitchen upstairs), the format really should have worked but quite often it just didn't grab people. I'm glad I've tried it, but equally glad that, apart from one charity show in Cambridge in September, we don't have to do this again. 

Every night I opened the Cambridge Comedy Collective show, but, as it was in the same venue as my first show of the day, it often didn't happen. Either way, I'd be in that room for 10 minutes, either shouting at an audience or just waiting for people to turn up, before running the mile and a half for my final gig of the day, which started half an hour later. When the shingles kicked in big-time, this was becoming an issue but, apart from a couple of days when I succumbed to getting a taxi, I'm glad that I did it every night. Madness, probably, considering how ill I was feeling, but if I'm at the fringe, I'm bloody well doing it. My final gig of the night was my History of Pop show, which was a surprise success last year and back for a second run. Annoyingly, despite having no artistic integrity whatsoever (I mean, I spend months writing my shows and nobody comes to them, but I print out a bunch of lyrics and organise a sing-song and everyone loves it...) the show was a total success. Again. People in the streets were coming up to me and hailing it as a genius; I often dismissed it as "lazy karaoke with drunk comedians" but then a fellow comic sat me down and talked me through how complex it all was - how much control I have to have on the show to keep it moving, but also ontrack, to keep all of the audience involved constantly, to surprise them with 'alternative' versions etc - and still keep it funny. That's what I've somehow created, but it's not like I've actually sat and thought this through. I'm particularly proud of the 'world's fastest prog song' section of the show, but that was a total accident, it was simply because we were running out of time and had to do it fast anyway. That's pretty much the case of the whole show: a happy accident. The fact that we have 43 songs to get through in 47 minutes (I break up the show with a 10-minute guest in the middle, and we have to allow 3 minutes to let people out at the end) adds a sense of urgency to the show that people like but again, hardly rocket science, is it? Either way, people love it, and it was the only thing I did at the fringe this year that made me money, so I'm grateful. 

A lot of people (including myself) spent a lot of time making sure our '...Sparks' show worked out, but ultimately, despite it being the tightest script I've written, with the best director, in a nice venue and an amazing cast, it never felt like it was working. It was purely down to audience sizes, maybe the location of the venue was an issue, but it was still central enough. Either way, I'm in total awe of that cast for doing that show 23 days in a row, often to four or five people, after flyering for hours on end beforehand. It must have been disheartening but very rarely did they grumble. We'll have dinner soon to discuss it all, but I really hope we can keep this team together and do more in the future. 

I feel like I'm really building something here; I have a bit of following, and it's getting bigger - people who come and see me year in, year out. This year I've noticed that families like me, and often it's families of three or four that are coming to repeat shows - I sense that I'm a safe bet at a festival where many swear and shock people. There was one couple who saw me for the first time at the History of Pop, and then came to watch my three other shows. If everyone did this, I'd be rich but look, there's four thousand shows happening, dedicating four hours to me is, if anything, flattering but foolish. But yep, I'm building something quite nice here with my niche little shows. I've got a big-ish writing commission out of this run...a comedian who I met asked me to guest in her show, she liked my set, and then she saw the play, and has since asked me to write a show for her next year - we had a meeting to discuss my ideas for her, and she had just come from a meeting at a very big and important venue (you know, the one that has a courtyard in it and where I've dreamed of doing a show) and it's already agreed this show I'm writing for her will be on there. Fringe 2019 is looking very exciting already...

Hopefully I won't have shingles then, either, as that's really buggered up my festival. But still, the 7 hour drive home in the old Volvo (which is STILL going, it's nothing short of a miracle) was easy enough, and I pretty much went straight onstage when I got back, back with the band. I was in a bit of discomfort throughout the set, as my body is clearly yearning the rest the doctor ordered, but we were great and the new album is the best thing we've ever done. 

I may feel a bit broken, but things aren't aren't bad at all, really. 

Monday 6th August 2018

Typically the slowest day of the fringe, because it's 2-4-1 with the paid shows. And because I'm so hungover.

Nobody turned up to Short Plays. That's the first time I've had a no-show for 3 days in a row. I don't actually care. I can perform it if need be, but I'm happy to grab some breakfast instead.

Little Sparks was awesome today, big audience too.

The Joe Jackson show had 4 people in, I had a few tech issues and the whole thing felt a bit clumsy but they were mostly onside. Healthy bucket takings at the end anyway.

Comedians Drumming was good fun - 7 in, Phillip and Gillian were enjoyable guests who got into the spirit of things. Format-wise this was the slickest this show has been.

Got back, had a cat nap, ran to the Cambridge Comedy gig and reminded them that I need to be gone by 8pm to make my next gig. The MC went on for so long and I ended up leaving before my set. They seem annoyed by this.

Ran to my History of Pop show, met up with guest singer Elizabeth and then waited for an audience. For ages there wasn't one, and then there was three people - Spanish, who loved it and joined in and we had a bit of a party. Really fun gig, even if I'm aware that I'm losing money up here.

Had an awesome pizza and then caught up with Emily, our director, who arrived today. Lots of good chats about future projects, including next year's fringe (which I've already cast), which she'll now be directing. This fringe feels like it hasn't quite got out of second gear yet, but it's early days. Future plans are exciting, though.

Sunday 5th August 2018

A bizarre day.

Nobody turned up to Short Plays again, I don't care - I don't like the room and it's fucking miles away.

Little Sparks was great today and a big audience, the tension has gone down a bit.

Had three in for the Joe Jackson show; a reviewer, a random bloke and my mate Frizz. Awful performance, didn't even do the bucket speech at the end.

Got to my venue for the Comedians Drumming show to see there was a church choir, in full flow, in my venue - proper gospel stuff, really going for it. We had to do the show in the garden of the venue instead, and one of the comedians couldn't make it because he woke up too late (the show is at 4.15pm) so Kate ended up being a contestant and she beat Ruth in front of a small but very, very enthusiastic audience. This is a great show, just need people to see it.

Ran to my next thing - a guest spot on a chat show. Big crowd, I had to do 10 minutes and was then interviewed. All of it was a joy; I couldn't do a thing wrong with my set as they were so friendly throughout and just up for it, and then the interview went well.

Had a drink with the host afterwards, who is a trained actress, we really clicked (creatively) and she's commissioned me to write her Edinburgh Fringe 2019 show. For actual money.

Then over to the Cambridge Comedy Collective gig, which I opened with pretty much the same 10 minutes, went well.

Ran, proper sweaty running, to the History of Pop show. Small crowd as always for Richards, but so into it - I think this is my niche. My guest singer, Eamon, who I met once when he did a show for me in Cambridge, was utterly superb and 'was' the 'choir'. The audience, all old ladies, took to his Irish charm and he pretty much saved my show.

Then back over to guest in Steve's show again. Once again only a handful of people but a joy once more to be on the bill with him, Rebecca and Winter - we all blitzed it. A top London comedy promoter was in the audience and he loved my 10 minutes and offered me a couple of well-paid headline slots.

This is working out just fine.

Our techie, JJ, arrived up from Birmingham. It feels like we're old mates because we chat so much on Facebook, but in reality we've only ever met twice - firstly when she was my tech at the Birmingham Comedy Festival a few years back, and then when she came to my show in Edinburgh last year. We grabbed a couple of late pints to catch up anyway, starting just after midnight. Ended up in a bar just near the flat, a random Australian doctor got chatting to us and kept buying us really expensive whisky, it was all a bit strange. He bought several rounds, all costing more than forty quid a time and there was only three of us. He then tried to pull JJ and we made our polite excuses and staggered out of the pub at 3am.

Saturday 4th August 2018

So the madness properly begins...

Nobody turned up for Short Plays. It's fine; it's in a venue even I couldn't find and it smells of sick.

That gave me plenty of time to get down to Little Sparks. 4 in, but the performances were great and I hit at least 80% of the sound cues.

Then mad dash over to the first Joe Jackson show performance. A very respectable 15 in. I was a little loose in places but that's kind of the act it is and they were quite generous with the bucket donations at the end.

Back to the flat, pick up the drums, taxi over to the venue and then straight into the Comedians Drumming show. Kate is my assistant for this show and my first guests were Andy v Josh, two old friends. Audience scraped double figures and the format, although a bit rough around the edges, worked a treat.

Quick bit of dinner and then hosted a charity gig for Macmillan. My somewhat, well, fast, MC-ing confused some (we had a lot to get through so it was literally a case of introducing the acts and cracking on with it) but we made a few quid for the charity at least and the room was packed. Steve the headliner, who I've known for years, was outstanding.

After that, the first History of Pop show. Small crowd, but all American tourists who were into it.

Then over to guest in Steve's late night show, to four people. We had an amazing time, because the four were up for it, the other acts (who I now consider to be friends) were superb and everyone came out of it buzzing. I love the fringe.

Home by 12.30am which isn't too bad.

Friday 3rd August 2018

Opening day for Little Sparks, and my first day as tech.

In my head I knew what I was doing, but a fuse in the PA went and we had no sound. I ended up reading in lines from the back of the room and we somehow got away with it. That was stressful.

Back to the flat and the girls finally had a read of the children's play, which opens tomorrow. They dislike it - because it's clearly not for children (it's set in the sea and all the fish die) and got grumpy. I got annoyed because they've left it till now to actually look at it.

I went out for beer.

Got back, they've made it into a more 'suitable' show. I then performed/rehearsed my Joe Jackson show in front of them and everyone agreed that it worked, which is a relied as it opens tomorrow.

Thursday 2nd August 2018

Up early, feels like there's a bit of tension in the air. Either way, over to our venue for our tech. I'm teching for the first few days until JJ, our proper techie, turns up. I've never 'worked the desk' before so naturally it was a bit of a mess. Our tech rehearsal was just under two hours; during that time I worked out how to make things go louder and quieter, and brighter and darker.

Went for a bit of last-minute prop shopping, and then back to the flat to drink beer and rehearse Little Sparks with the team. Bit shaky at first, but two full runs later and it's totally a show again. I may even get the sound right...

That was followed by our first Pleasance beer of the year. It felt so, so good...

Wednesday 1st August 2018

The long drive up to the fringe! Eventually. I mean, we had a bit of delay because Kate was in an afternoon show, so I grabbed lunch with A before heading over to Emily's to pick up the props. Half of them don't fit in the car so we need to source more chairs from Edinburgh.

Alan messaged, he's at the fringe already and our flat has one less room than planned and suddenly you can feel the awkwardness.

Picked up Steph and then Kate. Drive up was hassle-free, did it one go, 6 and a half hours. The Volvo is amazing. I've nabbed the lounge, Alan has a room, the girls are sharing a room. This is fine, until our eight million guests turn up.

Tuesday 31st July 2018

Heading to Edinburgh tomorrow, I have no idea if I'm ready or not - the JJ show probably works, even if the punchline doesn't. Short Plays is fine, History of Pop is always easy enough, Comedians Drumming is a total unknown entity, no idea how Little Sparks looks but the cast are so good it shouldn't be a problem. 

Picked up my flyers, and the renovated bass drum that Lachy the genius has cut up and put back together for me. 

Drove to Birmingham for a longer version of History of Pop. Sold out show, audience just so up for it throughout - the 90 minute version worked amazingly, I worked really, really hard tonight. Honestly, probably one of the best shows I've ever performed. I need to tour this. 

Monday 30th July 2018

Taught my final lessons before Edinburgh - both to students I love teaching and I consider them to be friends if anything else.

That was after a lie-in, which was much needed after the disasters of yesterday.

Evening performed a preview around my mate Rob's house, new material, seems to be working - amazingly, apart from the punchline. All of a bit of a relief as Edinburgh is THIS WEEK.

Sunday 29th July 2018

Woke up drenched. Our tent wasn't waterproofed, and it was a heavy, heavy storm last night. I hate camping. Literally woke up in a puddle, soaked to the bone.

Opened our tent to see that my bandmate's tent wasn't there...it collapsed over night. Stressed, in the pouring rain, heavy wind and thunderstorms, we put the tent away, angrily, and joined the others in a nearby McDonalds.

Waited there for several hours until we got the nod that the festival was to be cancelled/closed due to unsafe conditions, 6 hour drive home. I was happy about this; another night of camping would have done me in.

Saturday 28th July 2018

Up early, over to Cambridge to pick up a very cheap drum kit that will be used in the Edinburgh show, and then down to Dorset for Camp Bestival with the band.

A is finally started to see that I'm not a real man - I really, really struggled when putting up the tent. I hate camping so much.

The joy of being an artist is the free food (I had a lovely steak) and the free beer (I had a lot of it). We played on a nice little stage, often drowned out by the headliners (Clean Bandit) on the other stage but we still had a cracking little audience who seemed to be into what we're doing.

Gaf then sang karaoke and we all sat in a field drunkenly enjoying it. 

Friday 27th July 2018

Taught a quick lesson in the morning (certainly helps pay for the fuel to Edinburgh...), and then off to play a local festival with the band. Despite the heatwaves we've been getting recently, it pissed it down. We were great tonight - very solid, nobody can tell of the stuff that's going on behind the scenes...

My auntie passed away today; I feel bad for not being able to take Mum to the funeral because I'll be at the fringe. I feel like a terrible son.

Thursday 26th July 2018

My only 'free' day until...September, I guess? Naturally things don't work out that way, I found myself re-writing my Edinburgh shows like crazy, designing flyers, buying supplies and visiting Mum again because she seems in a bad way.

I need sleep. I'm just not getting it at the moment.

Nice to spend some quality time with A, though.