Sunday 30th August 2015

Got a very long email from the editor of the '50 Ways...' film, almost read like a lecture but it was all positive. She's a pro, she knows her stuff, she wants this to be the best it can be. I've got a lot to do here, but the results will be worth it. It's tougher than I thought, making a film. Well, a good one.

Sunday lunch with my parents, everyone seems a bit stressed, and then off to Marcus' housewarming party which was very nice. I don't hang out with Marcus enough, I guess we've all grown up a bit.

Home to send a million emails.

Saturday 29th August 2015

Up early-ish, with the expected hangover. Off to Kent for 2 shows with the band. It felt weird doing these gigs when technically I know I should be at the Edinburgh Fringe still, but spoke to my parents (as I do every day at the moment) and I got the go ahead that dad isn't struggling to much today so I could play the gigs.

The first one was a disaster. It looked like such a nice festival, but the sound was shocking, and the organisers so incredibly apologetic about it all; they actually offered us double the money NOT to play because they didn't want us to have such a shitty sound. We did play, and we had such a shitty sound. It was just laughable; two of the PA speakers blew and they were trying to fix them with soldering irons DURING our set. Crazy.

Then 90 minute drive to a brewery, where we were playing an indoor festival there. That was a cracker; the sound was better, the acoustics were great, the audience were willing. We were great tonight, really on it.

Long drive home for Gaf, as the rest of us barely stayed awake.

Friday 28th August 2015

Have I left it too late to be booking Christmas things? Feels early still, August, but in this industry I may have missed the boat.

Christmas things I want to do:

 - Tour the solo show (got a handful of dates for it so far - need about 4 more for it to be a 9-date tour)

- A Christmas musical (need to chat to my co-writer, Meg about this. Meg isn't talking to me at the moment)

 - Covers festive gigs with Griff and Vix.

I spent a lot of time today sending lots of emails about all of the above. So many emails to the extent I'm amazed that my account hasn't been blocked.

Lovely, lovely evening out for Griff's birthday, got very drunk and was surrounded by wonderful people.

Thursday 27th August 2015

It's quite nice being back in the office, you know, just chilling out a bit.

My head is all over the place with these projects; I can't stop booking tour dates! Or at least, trying to. Too many ideas? In the evening I met up with my friend Fiona for a good catch up and listed everything I'm doing at the moment - it's clear that I'm exhausting company.

Wednesday 26th August 2015

I think I really did annoy my bandmates yesterday with my over-sensitive email. No more of this, time for Richards to man up a bit.

As I'm back unexpectedly from Edinburgh, and because the builders are pissing me off, I thought I might as well go back to the office to do a little freelancing. It was quite nice actually; I felt very welcome indeed. The work is mundane, but my exhausted brain needs that at the moment.

Confirmed my new band line-up for forthcoming performances of The Make or Break Mix Tape (great line up: Edd, Andy, Esther) and started planning for all things Christmas.

Tuesday 25th August 2015

Need sleep. Really needed sleep. Really tricky though when we've got the bloody builders in from 7am, they're so loud.

Didn't get sleep. Spent the day in my room eating crisps and updating my calendar - now that my fringe run is (prematurely) over I need to keep busy. Sent a slightly insecure and stroppy message to my bandmates about the fact that they asked my dep if he could play the cajon...felt like I was being replaced. They seemed genuinely furious about the fact that I assumed they were going behind my back and that my reaction to this thought was to not discuss it with them, but form a jazz band. We discussed it in great detail tonight and I apologised for my insecurities. I just don't feel secure, right now...my dad is dying, one of my best mates tried to commit suicide last week, had a call from Suffolk Police tonight asking if I knew another one of my close friends as he's been missing now for 2 weeks. What's going on here? Maybe it's okay to be feeling a bit anxious at the moment, but it really does piss off the band to the extent I imagine they're losing patience with me.

Played a trio covers gig tonight which was nice enough, but it's not the fringe.

Booked a fully electric performance of The Make or Break Mixtape for early October in my favourite venue; we'll get it filmed as a promo and tour it around arts centres next year.

Monday 24th August 2015

I was a good son today. Not that it's about validation, of course. But I really was. Picked up a really fancy hire car (it was worth thirty grand...) and then worried when my parent's dog leaped all over it during malting season. 14 hour round trip to Devon so Mum could look at the house she may move into when Dad passes on. Very surreal, quite stressful.

Home by 2.30am.

Tomorrow I shall be creative again.

Saturday 23rd August 2015

Slept most of today, having finally got to bed about 6am. Went to see Mum and Dad and got annoyed that they keep calling the fringe my 'holiday.' It's not a HOLIDAY it's my CAREER – okay, so my career isn't going to plan, but that's not the point. Anyway, they seem stressed, understanably, about everything. I need to be there for them more.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Saturday 22nd August 2015

All fairness to my venue managers, they took the news that I was heading home a week early really well, I'm very grateful to them for their support. Feels bad going home a week early – put of what I enjoy the most about the fringe is the struggle of it all. I've still performed 38 times in 15 days, which isn't bad, but it's not enough. But I've also felt bad for the last fortnight about not being at home with mum and dad.


Determined to go out on a high today. Big audience for Inadequate Man; about 16 in, about half of them were into it, half of them weren't, performance was professional but slightly tired.


With glory in our heads after yesterday's cracker of a show, Edd and I decided not to flyer the Make or Break show at all and see if anyone turns up. They did – in their droves, packed the venue, another cracker. I'm gonna have to build on this format, this could be the making of me (and I get to drum, too).

Rix/Rees/Richards show was much better tonight, a more willing audience, you could feel the confidence after last night's below-par display. I'm sad to be departing that show so soon. They'll be fine without me.

Off stage at 10.30pm, in the car by 11am, home by 5.30am. These days are exhausting me.

Friday 21st August 2015

I've decided to go home tomorrow night after the shows; it's the right thing to do. Nothing is more important than family at the end of the day.


One audience member for Inadequate Man today; one girl called Erin. I thought she was going to cry during it. It was awful. She stayed for the whole gruelling 48 minutes as I ranted away on stage but then again...it would be a bit tricky for her to leave, wouldn't it? I went to give her a hug at the end but she ran off.

Filmed a lovely sacking scene with Laura (She Makes War) for the film – really happy with that one, it turned out well.

First show without Adam for the Make or Break show. How did we get away with that? Just bass and vocals...well, I turned it into a game of 'name that tune' on the bass, and also a singalong for the audience, alongside the plot itself. We had a big audience today who were really up for it, it was just glorious, messy fun. I don't think I've ever worked that hard on stage before, I was really streteched but loving every second. It's like we've accidently stumbled into a new formula here – family friendly, musical (kind of) comedy. I feel excited again.

Rix/Rees/Richards show felt below par – I think having a no-show last night didn't help things, we just lost momentum. The audience, small but potentially willing, never got into it and that was partly my fault for the underwhelming intro to the show which is SO important. We'll be better tomorrow night.

Thursday 20th August 2015

I'm getting a lot of vibes from the family that suggest I should be home in these difficult times. I'm only just half way through my run.

Everybody seems to be struggling for audiences today, I was no exception – for Inadequate Man I had 3 in the audience; a child, his dad, and a man who was an hour early for another show in the same venue. It was a struggle, but they seemed to enjoy it. But still, 3 people in a venue that holds between 80-100 people...come on!

Final performance with Adam for Make or Break... not quite as spectacular as yesterday, but still proof that this works. Filmed it, too. Got an audience member to guest singing a song and she had a remarkable voice, it was just one of those lovely moments.

Rix, Rees and Richards had a no-show tonight, not a single person, so we went to a bar instead to discuss flyering tactics.

Wednesday 19th August 2015

Great audience for Inadequate Man today, really up for it and I had a reviewer in. I seemed to get something stuck in my throat about half an hour in and the show briefly lost momentum, but it recovered by the end...it's that brief loss of tempo though which could lose it a star in the review, though. But that audience – wow, lovely.


The Make or Break Mixtape was utterly brilliant today – not always down to us, the audience have to be up for it, but they were. It was a near sell-out, felt a bit like a party. This works now, really works. Wish we'd filmed it.

Was then a guest at Elise's show, doing spoof TED talks...wrote and performed a whole new piece about the history of Britpop music. Nobody really enjoyed it.


Opening performance of the Rix, Rees and Richards Radio Roadshow was great, really great. It's a formula that works; Matt is the proper, polished comedian, Izzy does the quirky, witty songs, I get drunk and shout a lot. Combined, it makes for a lovely show.

This run is really starting to work out now.

Tuesday 18th August 2015

We got very drunk last night, having found a late bar after watching the brilliant Comedian's Comedian podcast recording. Ouch, my head.

In the smaller venue for Inadequate Man today thanks to there being a gig in my regular room. The result? I stormed it, asbolutely stormed it. It's not a coincidence, is it? Just 9 people in, but they were pumped for it, and I gave them 50 minutes of racous enthusiasm in return. Happy, happy Paul.

Big-ish audience for Make or Break.. which coincided with us starting to nail it. They were a quiet bunch, but seemed to enjoy it. Adam and Edd are really on good form.


Adam goes home on Friday...I have the option to bring in another guitarist, but deep down I know that I might end up going home early myself because things at home are getting really difficult. Feels like I'm being torn in various different directions at the moment.

We saw The Wrestling in the evening – basically lots of famous comedians fighting, it was fun.

Monday 17th August 2015

9 people in the audience for Inadequate Man today. This is hardly career progress, is it? Still worried about dad, guilty that I'm not back in Cambridge with them. Instead I'm here, being disappointed by everything. The audience loved it today, though - they were well into it. I was substandard, but I know this script so well that I can get away with it even if I'm not at my best.

Make or Break... was better today, it's almost like we're starting to learn it or something, but it's a show that relies heavily on audience interaction and they just weren't in the mood to interract so we limped over the finishing line.

Sunday 16th August 2015

At last! A proper audience for Inadequate Man; had 13 in today, and only 2 of them were friends (Alex and Paul), and it works with an audience, that's a relief. I get overexcited when I have an audience, as a result the show is faster, and sweatier, but better for it.

A quick beer later and then I legged it across town to meet Adam, showed him to the venue where Edd was waiting for us and we had a panic rehearsal for 'The Make or Break...' which opened two hours later. Adam hadn't even seen the script at this stage, but he's as a guitarist he's a genius. We were actually hoping for a no-show, because we could have used the space for a rehearsal instead, but sods law - 7 people turned up and we had to do it. It was shaky and barely a show to be honest, lacking in substance and confidence. How is this possibly going to work? This needs work, but the show is now live. I'm pushing myself too much here.

Went to see The Horne Section afterwards, which is always a treat.

Saturday 15th August 2015

Izzy and Edd arrived in Edinburgh today, which was great because this run has been a bit flat so far so friendly faces are welcome. The show with Izzy opens next week, the one with Edd tomorrow. Can't say we're prepared for it, but maybe the danger is what my run has been missing?

And they both came down to watch Inadequate Man, they were two of my six audience members. It was okay today, unspectactular, but in a smaller venue that would have worked. It's just such a big room, so difficult to get a vibe going in a space like that. Can I turn this round?

After a little rest we met up with Esther and Jon and drank beer. I nearly forgot I was hosting the quiz, and was on the other side of town - not really expecting anybody to turn up. Ran in, a bit drunk, and the room was utterly full. I needed a wee, so had to dash out before it even started, such an awkward start. But they loved it - it was fun and messy and was on the right side of shambolic. I quite like being a quiz show host. It's easy having questions in your hand and just asking them with a little charisma...it's certainly much easier than having to learn lines or anything like that.

Friday 14th August 2015

Flyered a lot today, really went for it - spent hours out there, begging people to see my nice little show.

An audience of 2; neither of whom spoke English. Mid-way through the show another man walked in, looking for the magic show that was downstairs - I politely told him he was in the wrong room, he looked at my audience and said "well at least you've got plenty in." I told him to fuck off. Yep, it's come to that - I'm swearing at strangers.

Nobody can find my venue, I had friends looking for it today who couldn't find it. What's the point in this run? I need to change promoter - every year I'm in a shitty slot in a venue nobody can find at a really early time. I've had years of this; surely loyalty alone should count for something? Clearly not.

I really shouldn't be up here anyway. Dad is struggling back home, really struggling, I should be there.

The quiz tonight was great, though - really enthusiastic bunch, I enjoyed it so much we overran and I got in trouble with the next act.

Thursday 13th August 2015

My only audience member today was a reviewer. Fucks sake. He really enjoyed it; he laughed at all the right times but it felt more than a bit awkward.

Saw some excellent comedy this afternoon, all of which had huge audiences. It's not about audience size, I get that, but it would be nice, wouldn't it? You know, to have a few more people in. I'm running out of ideas, though - but next year I'll get it right.

I said that last year.

The quiz tonight was tough; the only attendees were very young people (between 15-17 years old) that kept asking me, repeatedly, if there were any questions about 'modern music' - eventually I told them to leave. Horrible.

Wednesday 12th August 2015

Feeling the stress a bit. I've done Edinburgh lots of times, I've failed at Edinburgh lots of times - but this just isn't really working at the moment. Was in a different venue today (as scheduled), best performance of it yet in front of 6 very nice people - it works better in a smaller room, see?

Then went to see Ian Lavender, which I enjoyed very much. A better day.

The quiz was mediocre, but we got through it - it was very much a team effort, both myself and the audience got through that together.

Tuesday 11th August 2015

Audience of 5; venue capacity 80. This isn't going to change, is it? I flyered a lot today but nobody can find this fucking venue, even I struggled.

Performance was really sharp today, and then half way through the show the music from downstairs just drowned me out. I lost all momentum and the show just didn't work after that, it was horrible.

Dad couldn't get out of bed this morning because he's so weak. I should be home, not up here, not fulfilling my dreams.

Monday 10th August 2015

I'm just not feeling this fringe so far - I think it's a combination of both the huge, utter guilt I'm feeling for not being back home, a feeling which is dominating my thoughts, and also because nothing I'm doing up here is career progression. In fact, if anything I've gone down a bit - I'm not in a great venue, I'm on at 12.55pm which is an awful slot, nobody cares about this one.

Audience of 7 today, my mate James was responsible for 4 of them. A reviewer was in, I clearly fancied her, it wasn't a two-way thing. Bit awkward, and probably won't help the review.

For the quiz, a friend from the venue was keen to host a quiz for the night so I let him take it. I went and got drunk, watching John Otway and meeting up with Esther.

Sunday 9th August 2015

Second show done; the venue is starting to look like a venue now, which is nice. Only a handful of people in the audience but they were jolly, and as a result, so was I.

And then off to Glasgow to get sacked by Frank Turner for the film. Both he and his management were lovely, it was a fun and easy bit of footage from somebody who is a real megastar at the moment.

Dashed back to host the quiz, but nobody turned up. Can't say I really cared.

Saturday 8th August 2015

Up early to find my venue; took me bloody ages. Probably because there's a front door to it, but they're not using it - instead the audience have to walk all the way down a hill, and turn into what is effectively a building site. Seriously, if you're a venue, surely you want to get people in? It's madness, just madness, and disheartening because suddenly you realise...yep, it's going to be one of *those* runs, again.

Venue had no chairs. And my performance room is upstairs, there are no signs on how to get there, and you have to walk right through another venue to get in. It's just horrible.

First performance done; 3 people - my mate Jack, who travelled with me, my mate Adam, who lives up here, and my mate Emma, who is dating Adam. Performance was a typical opening showing, a bit jaunty, a few struggles with venue lighting (ie it was really dark) but it'll get better. It has to.

Saw a couple of friends do their shows, both of whom were great, and then hosted the music quiz. It was clear quite early on that this doesn't really count as a show, but people seemed to enjoy it anyway and got into the spirit of things. Why did I commit to doing this quiz up here?

Friday 7th August 2015

Long drive up to Edinburgh; most of the time feeling guilty that dad is so poorly back home. Popped in to visit them in the morning, took mum shopping. Felt a bit weird. Then picked up my flyers from Rich, who got them done at such short notice (the flyers themselves were only designed on Wednesday by Jules, of course).

Went via a village in Preston to get sacked by Dodgy. Went to the wrong fucking village and then it was too late to get the footage. Bollocks.

Eventually got to Edinburgh at 10.30pm, checked in to accommodation. 10 hour drive...how does my car do this?

Thursday 6th August 2015

Spent a majority of the time in the office worrying about my lines for tonight, but also did some 'proper' work whilst I was there, of course.

From the soundcheck it was instantly apparent that Andy is the perfect guitarist for the show...next task: trying to work out a way he can do the Edinburgh run.

First and only previews of the two 'other' shows; The Make or Break... was fine - nothing more than that, it ticked over in a stumbling but likeable sort of way. I know enough of my lines for it to work, there wasn't quite the slick banter between me and the band that was in the script, but that was purely down to lack of rehearsals. It'll be a show by Edinburgh.

And then for the show with Matt and Izzy; they were both great, I was a bit unprepared for my first bit, but then redeemed myself for the second with the 'I'm Disgusting' song, which gets more laughs than anything else I've done this year.

Lovely audience, a typically shaky preview but that's why it was a fiver. Onwards and upwards.

Wednesday 5th August 2015

Up early to head down to Mill Road to record a radio interview, which will go out 'live' on Friday (when actually I'll either be seeing parents, getting a haircut, or driving to Edinburgh). Another nice interview, this time with the lovely Leigh. The film is getting a lot of attention at the moment, people prefer to talk about that more than Edinburgh. I'm happy to go along with it.

I'm really annoying though, sometimes, I totally get that. Like not giving Matt, the poor flyer designer, enough time to design the fringe stuff. I've known I'm doing these shows for a long time, why did I leave it so late to get the info to him? (basically last week) I think it's because I took my foot off the gas a little, thinking maybe with the stuff that's happening with dad that I won't be doing the fringe after all, but I am now. Anyway, Matt ran out of time, which is understandable, and I got myself all stressed because without flyers you don't have a show. Jules stepped in and bashed out something simple for me - I owe her beer, lots of beer, what a kind and talented lady who happened to have an evening free to help out this writer in distress.

'Stressed to Kill' - that's a future album title, or something.

Worked really hard today, which I appreciate should be the norm, but it was 'proper' work, whilst listening to the 'Make or Break...' show on repeat. Those lines aren't sinking in, bugger.

Performed 'Inadequate Man' around Steve and Claire's house; nice audience. Performance was okay, more than okay - it was polished, but I was on auto-pilot a bit at times, not sure if anyone noticed. There's a lot in my head at the moment - Inadequate Man feels really strong, it's cemented nicely, but could do with a little more life at times.

Got back, Edd has been rehearsing like crazy for tomorrow's show, and has now told me that he can play it after all. What a legend - he's worked so hard tonight on the songs, I'm flattered. I'm still not sure who's in the band tomorrow, but I think we might just get away with it.

Tuesday 4th August 2015

Didn't get through to the BBC comedy competition thingy. Shame, but it's probably not a good time right now anyway.

One of the things that has been on my to-do list for the last few weeks now has been 'buy 13 scratch cards' as I vowed to spend the £13 profit I made from the quiz last month back on gambling things. Today I finally got around to it. Haven't scratched them yet, but even buying that many really freaked out the till assistant at the garage. I might scratch them tomorrow, I don't know - I'm just not in the mood for disappointment.

Put an appeal out for extra musicians for Thursday's show, ended up with 2 guitarists and a harmonica player. Awesome!

Did a bit of work in the office, proper work, that made me concentrate and everything. 

Then to see mum and dad for a bit; dad's having a bad day today, he had a better one yesterday. I took him out in the car for a bit though, which was nice. We spoke about my film, the bands, the shows, the novel...he seems really proud, if concerned at my work schedule. I didn't feel the need to tell him about the two musicals. 

After that I went to Izzy's, where we filmed the last of our scenes for the film. She was a bit 'realistic' about it at first. I get it, I've written these scenes quickly, we've filmed them quickly...maybe it'll look rushed in the final version? Or, as I like to think, it will be frenetically joyous. Either way, we got it all done, quite keen to have a day or two away from it and then review the footage to see if it was any good. Hope so, I wanna get this film out there.

I've now lost the bassist from Thursday's show. Christ. It's never easy, is it?

Got home, recorded my lines for Thursday's show, in the hope that if I listen to them enough times they'll just sink in. They won't. 

Monday 3rd August 2015

Did a few hours in the office, finished writing the non-sacking scenes for the film, and then off to Radio Cambridgeshire for a little on-air chat with the lovely Sue. That was a good one today, really comfortable, a great way to plug the film and show - she's one of those hosts that makes life easy for the guests.

Back to finish writing the scenes for tonight, then off to the TV studios to film 22 minutes of stand-up without an audience - just 3 cameras. I wasn't all that tonight, but it's material I know well.

Then over to Izzy's to film the scenes for the film I'd written earlier that day. It's looking good, we'll do more tomorrow. Will be a push to get it done this week, but I'd like that very much because this film is taking a bloody lifetime.

Still haven't got a band to back me for Thursday's preview. Haven't even thought about learning my lines for it yet. I've had all year to sort this, how come it's ended up being this frantic?

Sunday 2nd August 2015

Next week is the busiest of my life, yet I want/NEED to spend more time with dad. I get the feeling I'm not in favour at the moment as I'm just not around the family home enough (and I'm about to start an Edinburgh Fringe run), not that it's actually about 'being in favour.' Horrible times.

Had a lie-in today but still feel exhausted.

My car is doing strange things; the heater/fan has stopped working now. Will be a miracle if I get to Edinburgh on Friday.

Afternoon gig at a VW festival, that was poorly organised. Probably the best of the 3 gigs this weekend, though, as we had a nice audience, and great to hang out with Claudia and Marcel afterwards. Set: Take a Ride, Fine Life, Face in the Water, Bluebird, Goodbye Sweet City, Fire, Standing Next to Me, Ghost Town, Gotta Get a Message to You (cover), Shut Up and Dance, Beautiful You.

Then back into Cambridge to help audition the Brighton MD's for Dowsing, which was painless enough - and brilliant to jam with Edd in particular, and to socialise with Andrea, Eva, Nina, Edd and Keiran afterwards.

And then back home to run through 'The Make or Break...' script. It's okay, it's just very wordy. Too wordy to learn by Thursday.

Saturday 1st August 2015

Killing time in Burton, not too much to do. Found a cheap CD shop and I picked up a few bargains, found a nice cafe. Got stressed out about family stuff but my bandmates are awesome.

Festival show tonight, soundman annoyed me as he was annoyed by the tuning of my kit (hasn't been an issue with any other soundmen and I do a lot of gigs...). Sparsely attended, but enthusiastic audience at least. Set: Take a Ride, Hold On, Face in the Water, Goodbye Sweet City, Bluebird, Fire, She Says, We Don't Talk Anymore, Standing Next to Me, Fine Life, Going to California for a Girl, Nevermind, Ghost Town, Marathon Man, Earthquake, Shut Up and Dance, Gotta Get A Message to You (cover), Beautiful You. Somebody to Love (encore, cover)

Easy drive home; home by 1am.

Friday 31st July 2015

Morning in as we had a new bathroom delivered (boring/quite heavy to carry up 2 flights of stairs but I did it as I'm a proper a bloke) whilst working from home and getting really confused by most of it.

Off to Mum and Dad's for a bit, showed dad some of my acting for the first time - he's never seen me act before, so showed him some bits on YouTube. He was impressed. He's also struggling though, it's just horrible. So horrible.

Then off to Derby with the band to play a pointless gig in front of an audience who just didn't give a shit. Got back to our hotel and did my quiz, which was great fun until there was a complaint that we were too noisy.