Thursday 30th July 2015

So tired after the Preston drive home last night; a 9 hour round trip to do a show to 17 people above a pub perhaps maybe considered not worth it by some, but I still think it was. 

Put some hours in at the office, and was slightly concerned I'm not really achieving much there, work-wise at least.

Made notes for the film, particularly for the non-sacking scenes, which we start filming on Monday.

Have a potentially massive sacking for the film for tomorrow but I can't get access to the festival where the artist is playing...what a nightmare...there must be a way in, over the fence or something?

Evening met up with Izzy and Matt to discuss our show next week, which I think will be okay - it might be a bit clumsy, but there seems to be enough material there. And then went to my mate Phill's leaving drinks as he's off on a rather inspiring adventure.

Wednesday 29th July 2015

Spent some unexpected quality time with Dad today, mostly sat in Waitrose car park for hours on end as Mum did the shopping. I get a feeling he planned this, sometimes it's nice to just spend hours saying nothing - it was valuable time and with a couple revelations that have got me thinking. 

Then drove up to Preston. Pathetic, ludicrous journey that took 5 and a half hours. Venue was really busy though, nice space above a pub, and it was run so well - brilliant management who plugged me like crazy. Performance was erratic tonight - I was fiery, fast, and scared the shit out of them at times. They loved the reggae stuff, and surprisingly the Ronnie Rosenthal song at the end got the biggest laugh of the night. I really divided the room tonight - half of them loved it, half of them really didn't get it at all. Felt like an achievement though to turn up to a random venue hours away and have such a good turnout, I really am doing this at the moment. Made a loss on the show, though, not a huge loss - I'd say about £20 or so when you work out fuel costs. Not the end of the world, but not a living, is it?

And then 4 hour drive home. Home by 2am. My phone and emails are buzzing with so many opportunities at the moment but I just haven't had a second to reply to anything.

Tuesday 28th July 2015

Did some hours in the office and successfully managed not to break anything, got lost in a sea of spreadsheets and it's all a bit of a mess but I'll worry about that another day.

Back in the studio in the afternoon for a re-take of a track we recorded late last year for the album, but we're now playing it so much better as we've gigged it what feels like a million times. 'Another Universe' is a tricky beast as it demands so much discipline (and lasts in excess of 6 minutes), as a result it's the only track on the album that we've used a click track for.

Quiz night cancelled due to lack of interest - literally nobody was up for attending at all. Just a further reminder that I'm doing too much locally.

Had a great evening nailing the 'Make or Break...' script though, it goes a bit dark (understatement) which was never the intention, but I'm quite proud of it - there's a lovely ark to the structure, and it has an actual proper punchline. Now I just have to learn it, by next Thursday.

Monday 27th July 2015

Is being good at what I do the same as being cocky? It feels like I'm accidentally behaving that way. I'm on really on good form as a drummer at the moment - that's not arrogance, because I'm happy to admit I can often be quite mediocre these days, but I'm really fired up, mostly inspired by the family stuff that's going on. The Dowsing gig at the weekend - that's me hitting the form I know I should be hitting every night as a 'professional', and today, back in the studio with the band working on the second album I really nailed it, 7 tracks in as many hours, sometimes even in the first take, mostly in the second, and I get called a 'cocky fucker'. Jokingly, I think. Perhaps.

See, there's this whole stigma about nailing something in the first take - people just assume it won't be good enough. But what if that take actually is? And what am I supposed to do when I get it right in the first take...make a few mistakes at the end, just so we have to do it again, a few times? I was on cracking form today, and yet strangely I feel a bit insecure about it all. Maybe it's because Dad is planning his own funeral, that freaked me out a bit. Or maybe I just need a break. A day off, some sleep, that would be nice. No chance.

After a long day in the studio I met up with my mate Tom at the BBC and he sacked me for the film, then I got home and wrote the quiz for tomorrow night - which so far NOBODY is attending.

Sunday 26th July 2015

For some reason I didn't go to bed till 4am last night...yet I wasn't out partying, I was home from the gigs by 1.30am, I was knackered, but I was up watching Dad's Army. And now I'm even more knackered. I'm my own worst enemy, sometimes.

Two festivals today, and a reminder why I hate these gigs; I like venues, indoors, with dressing rooms, and parking. Festivals make me angry; you can't park anywhere near the stage, you have to lug equipment across a field, you spend half an hour trying to find your stage, the people are the sort of people I strive to avoid. Yet we have to do it, because it's potentially a new audience.

Today it pissed it down, we had audiences but we got so muddy I ruined my trainers and we all felt a bit miserable.

Festival number 1 - Ipswich, set list: Bluebird, Never Mind, Goodbye Sweet City, California for a Girl, Beautiful You.

Festival number 2 - Abbots Ripton, set list: Fine Life, Face in the Water, Bluebird, Goodbye Sweet City, Standing Next to Me, Ghost Town, Earthquake, Gotta Get a Message to You (cover), Shut Up & Dance, Beautiful You.

I now have a stinking cold, having spent 8 hours in the rain, and I feel dreadful. And next week looks ridiculous.

Saturday 25th July 2015

Last night ended up being a bit later than planned, but that's usually the sign of a good gig. Got to the Dowsing gig really early, aware that the Saturday morning traffic would be bad...ended up being an hour early. Walked in to set up and accidentally gatecrashed a wedding which was a bit awkward.

I'll be honest, what with everything that's going on, I just wasn't in the mood for this one, and the slightly shortened tech run beforehand didn't exactly fill me with confidence as there was still bits that I felt we weren't nailing. But both shows were remarkable today; aided by an enthusiastic audience (I had TWO ex-girlfriends at the first one), we totally and utterly nailed it. The sound was great, the vibe was magnificent. There was some proper magical moments in there, especially the end of LA Calling. The gigs were played with passion, gusto, the choir, band, strings, guests all rose to the occasion...thrilling stuff, both times. I take back everything I said the other day - this was a joy. Okay, so it may have taken me a bit longer than normal to be excited by this, but it worked out well in the end. It's gigs like this I live for.

Kat the harpist very kindly sacked me for the '50 Ways...' film in between the gigs, got some great footage there.

Set (same for both shows): Us Against The Word, Pompeii, Vamela, Can You Get To That, The Wolves and Ravens, This Feeling, Lippy Kids, Worship You, Undertow, Glosoli, Breaking, Made Up Lovesong #43, Light and Day, LA Calling; Awake My Soul (encore)

Then mad dash over to Bury St Edmunds to play a 90 minute rowdy gig with the band. By the end I was flagging big style, but it's not a bad life, is it?

Friday 24th July 2015

Did a few hours in the office, didn't really achieve as much as I would have liked to have done but it's money, isn't it?

Then off to see Mum and Dad; got flustered by the traffic and it took me an hour and a half to get to them. But Dad seemed a little brighter today; I mean - he's still gravely ill and we all know what the outcome is, but it's nice to see him a bit chattier today. Bought him some fattening snacks, he's losing a lot of weight so I figure if I get him the fattiest crisps possible it might slow things down a bit. You can always hope, can't you?

Not really looking forward to the gigs tomorrow night, which is a shame really because I used to be really into this stuff.

Evening covers gig with G and V up in Northampton; first half felt a little pointless because (with the exception of a few regular fans of our full band format) we didn't really have an audience, but the second half was a stormer. I'm exhausted, I'm clearly having angry thoughts about the world, but hanging out and playing music with these two helps a lot.

Thursday 23rd July 2015

I'm quite on top of things. I did a bit of 'proper' work today, I also wrote up my notes for the novel - seriously, the ending of it is a winner, I just need a bit more time and a little sleep and I'll have this nailed.

One of those days where people, generally, annoyed me by not replying to stuff yet I can see that they've read the messages. Cameraman for filming, for example - it's just basic fucking manners.

Evening dress rehearsal with Dowsing. Amazing venue, and amazingly no cock-ups at all, and normally in a dress rehearsal there's plenty of them. Great to be on stage with our special guest, Kat, who is playing harp, I worked with her on on album years ago and it's nice to catch up. But...I don't know, maybe it's because I'm wrapped up in the stuff about my dad (he had another bad day today), but we've sold 500 tickets now, which is plenty, we've got over a hundred singers, we've got an amazing string section, I've nailed the drum parts. Yet I'm just not excited about it. Not even a little bit.

Wednesday 22nd July 2015

Worked a proper long, full day in the office, to get some pennies in, whilst keeping on top of the admin for a few of the projects - the show in Preston next week, the film etc. As it stands, the film will actually end on 51 sackings, 52 if I can get to Bristol to re-film the Anna scene in time. I hope so, I like Anna (as much as she terrifies me a bit) and it's a funny scene that I'm gutted to have accidentally deleted.

Dad said goodbye to some of his friends today, even my mum - who has been remarkably upbeat throughout this whole, horrible, time, sounded broken by it on the phone.

Called Richard - one of my best mates who also happens to run a printing firm, to see how much notice he needs to print 5,000 flyers if I was going to go ahead with the fringe. My plan is to leave it as close to the festival as possible. He said a few hours...what a legend.

Evening met up with Izzy, initially to chat through scenes for the film and working out the filming for the 'non-sacking' scenes, and to also discuss forming this film production company, the Oscar Pike sitcom, the new Oscar Pike stage show and fringe logistics. But naturally it just ended up as being two close friends chatting and bantering, and she cheered up this slightly weary drummer a lot. Which I appreciate, a lot.

Tuesday 21st July 2015

I have enough acts confirmed now for the film to work...now need to work on the 'non-sacking' scenes scripted bits, which is slightly trickier than I first thought.

Dad's getting thinner, much thinner, already, which is obviously not a great sign.

Looks like I'm at least starting the Edinburgh run, then we'll see how it goes from there. The family really need me though, it'll be touch and go.

Evening lounge show back at Phill's. Performed 'Getting Lost...' for the final time, I just don't feel right performing it anymore as it's about families and given the circumstances it's best to let this one go. Filmed the final performance tonight, wasn't a bad one, will probably stick it on YouTube. Then did Inadequate Man, which felt so relaxed; it's a decent show now. Lovely audience, seemed to enjoy the Rigsby-esque pacing more than others.

I'm exhausted, I'm not really sleeping, but creatively I'm on the right track I feel.

Monday 20th July

This is very much 'Paul gets a grip' day. Did a few hours in the office in the morning whilst listening to the Dowsing set on repeat, spoke to Mum and Dad and got very confused by their upbeat nature on the phone...I think it just a phone thing, though.

October is now looking manically busy for me as a drummer; feels like I'll be on tour for all of it.

Cleaned my car. Bought some fruit and veg, drank water, and then did half an hour on the exercise bike...this is a better Paul Richards. Haven't eaten the fruit and veg yet, but it's a step. I bought 5 bananas on Sunday by the way and ate 3 of them (Esther took the other 2 off me, appreciating it's not really my sort of thing).

Emailed another 50 or so bands for the film, one of the biggest bands in the world stated vague interest that probably won't go any further, whilst a legendary Britpop act said yes straight away. Made a list of all the scenes so far, doing my best to shoehorn the script around it so it's like a proper film.

Did a bit more work on my novel because I couldn't sleep.

Sunday 19th July 2015

Up early-ish, with a hangover. Back to mum and dad's for a bit, helped dad do some more clearing up. Horrible, horrible times.

Dowsing rehearsal was long and sweaty, we were with the full choir today. Esther continues to be the voice of reason. I played a bit sloppy today, the gig next week will be fine, though.

Then off to Leighton Buzzard to headline a festival with the band. A pub crowd, so we found ourselves playing more covers than we would have liked, but despite some sound issues at the start I thought we were great tonight. Set: Take a Ride, Hold On, Face in the Water, Goodbye Sweet City, Blue Bird, Fire, Standing Next to Me, Old Man (cover), Going to California for a Girl, Nevermind, Ghost Town, Marathon Man, Gotta Get a Message to You (cover), Beautiful You, River Deep (cover), Somebody to Love (cover, encore)

Saturday 18th July 2015

Up early to help Mum and Dad - took Mum shopping etc, continued the long and painful process of selling everything in the house. It doesn't feel right.

Then long afternoon of drumming for my mate Tony's wedding anniversary. Played with Trevor and band first of all, which was tight, and then was pretty much the house drummer for the rest of the afternoon. Hard work, but in lovely company.

Evening caught up with old mucker Matt. We got very drunk, I needed that.

Friday 17th July 2015

I'm just not getting anything creatively done; I'm just thinking about dad, and how unfair all of this is.

Did some work in the office; made good progress, just knuckled down and got on with it. Agreed to a few more tour dates with a different band in October.

A promoter who I'm doing a show for soon doesn't seem to get the idea that I'll be using my Tesco Value boombox onstage, instead trying to get me to use the PA. Seriously, this email conversation has dragged on a lot more than it should do.

Evening gig with the band at the folk club. Got annoyed by somebody telling me that the drums were too loud, but he was sat right next to them. I don't like people sometimes. Played well though - my head isn't in a great place at the moment, but my body still knows how to drum, we were pretty tight tonight. Set (first half): Take a Ride, Hold On, Face in the Water, Goodbye Sweet City, Blue Bird, Fire, She Says, We Don't Talk Anymore, Standing Next to Me. Set (second half): Fine Life, Going to California for a Girl, Nevermind, Another Universe, Ghost Town, Marathon Man, Earthquake, Shut Up and Dance, Gotta Get a Message to You (cover), Beautiful You, River Deep (cover, encore)

Thursday 16th July 2015

Did a few hours in the office; I'm very well liked there, I think, and it's nice that it's a big project that I can dip in and out of whenever I'm in. And it's nice being the drum expert of the office, too, I knew this knowledge would help somebody at some point.

It's really depressing at my parents' house at the moment, as you would expect. Dad is going through this period of selling off everything because he won't need it when he's gone. I get that, but it's just surreal at the same time. All of those CDs, DVDs, books that we bought him for Christmas, birthdays, Father's Day...all with the best intentions, that he's enjoyed, but now just throwing away. Every present I ever bought him was agonised over, always seeking his approval. I guess that's just a way of dealing with things.

I needed that Dowsing rehearsal tonight; Andrea is not only the finest musical director on the planet but also one of the most caring people I know. I was quite worried about my mindset going into this one but still turned up to the session because a) I'm in danger of not achieving much throughout this turbulent period but the creative outlet is what keeps me going and b) the (huge) gig is next Saturday and we actually needed the rehearsal. It was great, I tried a new trick out - turning off the snare, and then playing the bottom of it (and rattling the loose snares), which gives it a samba feel...it worked perfectly for one of the tracks, more than perfect actually, if that were possible. This could be my new 'thing', I could be the drummer guy that does 'that'. Anyway, good session, songs sounding big and tight.

Still not sure what to do about Edinburgh this year. Feels like career-wise I should do it, but my dad situation is so...on edge at the moment. I keep changing my mind every half an hour.

Right, get a grip, Richards. Finish this film, and the novel. That would be an achievement at least.

Wednesday 15th July 2015

Really enjoyed doing that filming last night, felt quite therapeutic.

Did a few hours in the office, and then popped by to see my parents, both of whom seemed more at peace with the situation after a shouty, panicky few days.

As part of their house clear out I sold my very first drum kit. Haven't touched it for the best part of 10 years, but still felt quite sad. Got an awesome price for it, though, and I know that it's going to a good home.

Then watched Matthew Crosby and Tom Parry do their solo shows in Cambridge, both of whom were absolutely brilliant.

Very tired, but keep making notes for new projects.

Tuesday 14th July 2015

Dad might have weeks, not months. This is too real, it's too soon - this time last week things were relatively ticking over as normal. This time next week I might not have a dad. It's unfair. He doesn't want to live any more, he told me this earlier today, he's done with all this pain.

Having spent most of the day either at the hospital, or at home, with the family, I made it back to mine for 3pm to work on tonight's show. It worked well, more filming for Cambridge TV, this was all new stuff (with the inclusion of 'Grace' at the end) - 13 minutes worth, plenty of new ideas and I'm happy with most of it. The idea of being on an exercise bike, trying to play the cajon, the keyboard and sing all at the same time got cheap laughs and must have looked crazy to the audience. I did well to get through that tonight, and proof that I can bash out new material at short notice if need be.

Nice to catch up with Izzy, Marcus and Meg afterwards in a pub down the road, then I met up with Esther for a late drink and heart pouring session, which was much needed.

Monday 13th July 2015

Did a little work in the office this morning; my brain was on overdrive last night so didn't sleep too well and this morning felt very, very Monday. Last week it looked like I had made the company four grand (by accident, I for some reason said the right things to a client), well, we lost that today anyway, never mind.

Then did an afternoon show for an English language school. The plan being that my show would help these young Italians (all aged between 12-14) get a better grasp of the English language. What they didn't take into account is that my show isn't a kids show and I talk very fast. What I didn't realise until about 5 minutes before the show was that they're all kids - I assumed 'students' meant teenagers at least. What a disastrous booking, can't believe I got paid for that. Literally me shouting for an hour, in front of a room full of kids who didn't react at anything at all. Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

I then calmed down and met up with my good friend Nathan for a bit of food and to chat about a new project. I haven't seen Nathan properly for ages, as much as we've been meaning to meet up, we did a lot of gigs together a few years back. Nice to catch up, and the project itself; a dance/electro-pop crossover with spoken word storytelling is called 'Anxious' and is based on some notes that I've had knocking around for a while. Whenever I get a bit of time I'll write more of it, but it feels already like an interesting project that, with a few guest voices (ideally actors who can talk melodically) could be a beautiful album. I've had this desire for ages to write an album that is perfect for late night driving...this could be it.

From that, I was off to FH rehearsal, so collectively we could go over the bits we played badly at the weekend with the new original songs. We nailed it tonight, really strong. I got a very stroppy with Vikki for forgetting to give me a solo during our run-through of River Deep Mountain High, which suggests that actually, despite the fact I've been quite chirpy and positing fun stuff on Facebook, I'm not quite coping as well as I think I am.

Sunday 12th July 2015

So, my plan is to pretty much deny that things are about to get really shitty, keep my head down and work as hard as possible. My dad has achieved great things in his life, more than he'd ever care to admit - tomorrow he is handing in his uniform. I need distractions, the more I dwell on stuff, the more I wonder why I'm doing any of these projects. Saying that, tonight I did nothing apart from watch telly with my housemate, who, don't get me wrong - is an amazing person and I deeply appreciate his friendship, but I'm not someone who just sits and watches TV all night. Felt quite agitated by it all.

Today though was busy; a gig with Claudia and band at the Big Day Out in Cambridge. I was late because I was a bit rubbish this morning, and then a bit emotional on the phone to mum, and then had to unload my stuff from last night, and then the traffic was ludicrous because Cambridge is the worst place ever to drive, even on a Sunday. Missed the first track, made a grand swooping entrance during the second, which everyone seemed to enjoy despite it being somewhat unprofessional. Perhaps comedy value alone it was great, but that's the sort of trick you can only pull off once.

And then dashed to a place quite near Kings Lynn to do Inadequate Man in my mate Al's yurt to him and his family, all of whom are perfect audience members who laugh at the right times. Performance was tight but flat, I'm clearly not at my best energy-wise right now, so whilst the show was respectable enough, it didn't quite have that spark which it has done recently. Kind audience, though, and a lovely setting for it.

And then dashed again, this time to a local BBC radio station, where I was on air with Andrea and Nina to plug the forthcoming Quench gig. It was really nice, and Sue is a great host. I'm an old hand at being a guest these days, that felt nice.

I think I'm getting too angry these days. Today I felt like I had a lot of road rage, even if it all remained internal. Other things are really making me angry, though, which needs to calm a bit. In particular: Samba bands, Morris dancers and improv.

Saturday 11th July 2015

Long day on very little sleep; was up for 21 hours yesterday and barely slept last night, just thinking about dad, and how we're going to deal with this; I thought he was invincible.

Played 4 gigs today; the first 3 were ironically for Cancer Research - a Race for Life event. Quite fitting really, but I vowed not to think too much of it, and just get on with being professional. The first set with Trevor was nice but ignored, then FH's set was mostly new material and it was one of those rare gigs where we were just awful - it just didn't work at all today, the new stuff just didn't quite click. Then a scaled-down Dowsing set, which I think is the best we've played in a while.

Esther is an amazing person; not just for the lengthy late-night call last night, but for being there for me today, she has a remarkable capacity for listening but also raises important questions too.

FH then headed off to Bedford to headline a festival there - we utterly stormed it tonight, so much better than this afternoon. Even the surprise BeeGees cover was a treat. Big audience, proper headline stuff. God we're good, and tonight we got what we deserved. Amazing. This is why I do what I do.

So tired, but god a feeling my brain isn't going to let me sleep just yet.

Friday 10th July 2015

Dad has 2-3 months to live. The cancer has beaten him; it's become aggressive and today we found out there's nothing else they can do. I'm utterly heartbroken and this is the worst day of my life, but that is soon to be surpassed by another day, 2-3 months down the line, when I think this sense of pain and emptiness might just be too much for any of us.

Played a covers gig, good money but my heart wasn't really in it. I mean, when the person you spend your whole life trying to impress, the person you look up to the most, is dying, what's the point in any of this?

Thursday 9th July 2015

Work was a bit 'real job' today - I got into it, but mustn't lose sight of why I'm here; I am a writer, performer, drummer - this freelancing stuff is to keep my bills paid, let's not get carried away with it.

Got back in good time though, about 4.30pm, and put 2 hours of solid writing in for the 'Make or Break...' show, which is turning into a cracker.

And then Dowsing band rehearsal, which proves just how tight we're getting, it's sounding marvellous and the gig will be lovely.

Got back and did some more writing, and confirmed another sacking for the film - not a huge star, but one on the up at least who I like very much.

Wednesday 8th July 2015

Confirmed that the quiz show will be heading to the Edinburgh Fringe; meaning I'll be performing 59 shows in 23 days up there...part of me is well aware that I am totally living the dream, I get to be a comedian, a band leader, a comedy actor, a quiz show host, pretty much all with drums too. And part of me is well aware that I need to write the fucking scripts as it's really soon now. Inadequate Man feels strong, I'm still editing it most days, but it's become my staple piece. The Make or Break... show isn't far off, but I've been saying that for 2 weeks. Not sure about the other 2 yet. I'll make the quiz show a music quiz, I'd go and see a music quiz at the fringe. The show I'm doing with Izzy and Matt will be fine, but I still need to sit down and write my bits for it.

Did some hours in the office today, and my continually very angry line manager got a bit stroppy about some miscommunication about when I was going to be in. And then the head boss/company owner booked me to do a lounge show, which made me quite happy.

Long lunchtime corporate gig with Claudia and band, at a local business park where they paid us, quite a lot of money, to entertain the staff, most of whom didn't give a shit. That's corporate gigs, though, and it's all part of being a professional. Played well today, I thought. Set: The Love I Give, No Strings, Happy, Caramel, Glory Box, She, Talking Bout A Revolution, No Peace In Dreams, Somedays, Fever, Zombie, Tainted Love, Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, Love Cats, Big Bad Handsome Man, Stand By Me, Under The Boardwalk, Hit The Road Jack, Staying In Tonight.

The burgers were awesome there, by the way.

Evening rehearsal with Dowsing ahead of Saturday's show at Ickworth, and we also auditioned a new guitarist too. All very good fun. Got home, hoped to finish the Make or Break script, but, in the words of Joe Jackson (who features heavily in this show), "It's late, I'm winding down..."

So I had a beer instead. Tomorrow I'll achieve great things.

Tuesday 7th July 2015

July 7th is always a tough day for our family, given our connections with it, yet we never talk about it. Ever. It's a bit strange. I was thinking about it a lot today, though, it was horrible and I'm still feeling very grateful.

In the office today I finished the little project I was working on, in between sorting a little admin for the Ickworth gig this weekend - blurbs, that sort of thing.

Women are rubbish, all of them. I'm done with trying.

Had a really good writing session for the 'Make or Break...' show, it's actually up there with the best stuff I've written I think. But, and this is a major but, it's more complex than it was supposed to be, and is not the simple show I was hoping but instead one which will be a bugger to learn. It's more Kitson than Horne, that's all. I'll just have to work hard learning those lines.

Evening gig with the guys as a trio, covers gig, we're all a bit dozy and play on autopilot but everyone enjoyed it all the same, we're proper professional - it's a polished set that we can play with our eyes shut, and nearly did just that tonight. Nice though, and off-stage by 9pm.

Got back, recorded my entry for the BBC Comedy competition. Kept overrunning, which is nice that I find myself with too much 'proper' stand-up material these days (there was a 7 minute limit) but annoying as I had to keep chopping stuff. Eventually got it done, played it quite safe. Bit weird recording a stand-up set by yourself on your phone in the dining room at 11pm, but it sounds quite good, if I may say so myself.

Monday 6th July 2015

I'm a real man, I am. Proved that earlier by agreeing to tow a friend's car across town to the garage. His car was twice the size of my little Fiesta and we had to go over a few roundabouts to get there...would love to say I embraced the situation, but it wasn't the most confident of drives. Still, another tick on the Paul's manly list.

Entered talks with a lovely big famous band about the film; their management seem keen at least.

Really need to finish the script for 'The Make or Break...' show.

Started booking Christmas gigs, that don't clash with my solo tour show about Rudolph.

Evening rehearsal with the band, the new material is so strong; there was actually silence after one of the tracks because we couldn't believe how stunning it sounded. The new album will be jaw-dropping. And jamming the Bee Gees cover was fun, too.

Got back late, wrote rubbish.

Sunday 5th July 2015

Every night is a late night these days, I'm really not doing the sleep thing at all. Woke up early-ish to work out what exactly I was going to perform at the stand-up show that afternoon; a half an hour slot is quite tricky because it's too long for my standard stand-up set yet too short for my Edinburgh show.

In the end I cut all the 'story' bits out of Inadequate Man (so the reoccurring dating stuff, the letters to my former housemate, the driving home from shows monologues etc) and changed the ending so I could do the 'Grace' song, which saves me in most situations. It worked a treat, I mean - it's odd, isn't it, what I do? I'm very shouty, I play reggae on my cajon whilst reading poetry, I apologise for no reason, panic and swear a lot, but everyone enjoys it, it was just a nice, fast 25 minutes. A random girl started filming my set on her mobile, that was a good sign, I came on stage a flustered mess, I left it feeling great.

Then back to St Ives to play a covers gig - hard work, long set (but for good money), people had a good time. We're professionals, we put on a show, we've done this enough times before.

I think today highlighted my development as a person; I'm becoming a proper, decent stand-up, that gets paid to shout. I'm also a really in-demand drummer who plays with really great people. It's all working, I think, everyone is a work in progress but I'm on the right track here.

Saturday 4th July 2015

Even though the new British IBM album is very much an Aidy solo project so Dave and I don't feature on the recording, the promo itself and forthcoming live shows feature the full band so we met up earlier to have some new shots taken. Whilst there, we realised that I was actually free in the afternoon after all (having had a show cancelled) so I played live with them at a local festival in Cambridge. Nice set, winging it a bit on the new material having heard it for the first time in the car on the way to the show. Set: Animal, Sugar Water, Just Get By, Feeling, Nothing Ever Lasts That Long, Cannibal, I'm Just Like You, The British IBM.

Then met up with Esther to watch Alex Horne perform his incredible Monsieur Butterfly show at the Junction, followed by a nice dinner. Lovely evening.

Friday 3rd July 2015

Started writing a play called 'I'm Calling it a Date' - to be honest I'm enjoying writing it more than my Edinburgh shows, which is annoying. Why does the creative side of my brain always get excited by the projects I haven't got time to work on properly?

Really went for it with the '50 Ways...' stuff today, trying to find those elusive extra guest stars for it; I emailed so many people. Only reply was from Alvin Stardust's management, reminding me that he was actually dead, so unable to take part in the film.

Evening performed my Inadequate Man show on a boat - was slightly worried at first because I can't swim, but there was nothing at all to worry about. The host, Alex, and her husband, Ben were so enthusiastic towards my work, as were the brilliant audience. It was as cosy as anything so I couldn't pace around, but it was up there with my most enjoyable experiences of the year. They enjoyed it so much I had to give them more, so performed 'Getting Lost in my Hometown', which wasn't quite as strong but they all laughed at the right times, at least. Amazing evening, and very generous with their tips too.

Then got lost going home and suddenly it was 3am. Madness.

Thursday 2nd July 2015

Waking up and getting things done with this film; confirming a lovely scene with a singing boxer who can sack me in the actual boxing ring - I think that'll look great, and then I sent about 20 messages to 'famous' acts seeing if I can secure their services for a quick scene before the month is out. Would be nice to have one more, just one more 'big' name, wouldn't it?

Still not sure if I'll take the quiz to Edinburgh.

Worked for a few hours, and thought of a brilliant new bit for the Make or Break show.

Evening went on a date. At least I think it was a date. Either way, it was very nice, thank you.

Wednesday 1st July 2015

Still haven't *quite* nailed the script for the 'Make or Break...' show, which is worrying, because it's fucking July already, how did that happen? And it's the hottest day ever, and everyone is getting stressed in the heat, in particular the guy I work with who threw his laptop across the room this morning. I left early today, mostly because I'm a freelancer so I can do what I want, partly because I'm lazy and just wanted a bath, but also because my workmate was acting quite strangely so I left before I witnessed a breakdown.

Looking forward to doing the solo show this Friday, I know that one well yet I'm performing on a boat. Will probably film it if it looks good.

Really in two minds about trying to get my quiz show on at the fringe. I mean, I think if I spoke to my promoter friend, I'd get a venue, that bit isn't the problem. And it's an easy show, and a great format, it would work. But I keep thinking...am I drifting too far from my original plans? I'm a drummer and a playwright; suddenly to commit god knows how many hours of stage time into being a quiz show host might not be the best idea I've ever had. Somehow, as an artist, I'm not convinced. Yet it's fun. I'll think about it over the weekend.

Updated my websites today. ALL of them. I have too many.

Evening Dowsing band rehearsal was hot, drowsy but remarkably tight.