Sunday 1st May 2016

Treated myself to some proper sleep, and then over to Mum's for Sunday lunch.

I know I talk about it a lot in my show already, but it's an odd experience going through my old bedroom and throwing lots of stuff away. My childhood, basically. I've got a big huge box of things I'd like to keep, I'll probably store it in my bathroom here or something.

I've realised that when Dad got really ill last year, really, really ill, they had to clear my old room to bring in the hospital bed. Much was taken away by the 'man with the van' (Mum gave him £50 to clear as much as possible), including my old bed, stereo and also a huge box of my old band memorabilia. It was desperate times, if Dad didn't get the bed then he would have died in a hospice - that's the priority, I'm glad he died in the nicest way possible.

But basically, I've lost all of the recordings I was ever on from 2000 - 2010 I think. It's a shame. It doesn't mean anything really, but it's a shame. The posters remain, they were in a drawer, as were the old set lists.

Met up with some old friends for a drink and realised we have very little in common. Went home and listened to a couple of mp3s I've found in my emails of those earlier days. I'm finding just glimmers of my former band stuff, and it's got me thinking a lot. About those days, when I was writing for the local paper, really active on the local scene, playing in about 8 bands. Young, wild haired, on the verge of something but trapped by a 'local hero' tag. On listening to those songs I could hear genuine happiness in the playing, but I'm not convinced I actually was.

It's been a tough few months, but creatively I'm in a much better place now then I ever have been. Probably.