Wednesday 24th April 2019

First early start in what feels like a long time (in reality, about two weeks). Horrible getting up at 7am isn't it? Lessons started at 8.30am this morning at the school, a majority of the kids forgot what we were working on pre-Easter but equally they all seemed happy to be back drumming again.

Took Mum shopping, popped home to stare at my schedule and try to work out my many double bookings (failed, I just have too much work coming in) and then back out again for another 2 private lessons - both of which felt really strong. I've spent a little time over Easter re-planning a few lessons for those who are pushing themselves, as both of these students are, and have found some new challenges for them. Both are students who I've made into drummers from scratch, which makes me particularly proud.

But the thing that's niggling me at the moment is my lack of creative time. I really enjoyed rehearsing Josh's short film last night because I could see how much work and thought he's put into it, and really enjoyed chatting to Alan H (a regular collaborator of mine, who has also been cast in this) on the way home about ideas, but I just felt...jealous, because I've not got the time to do everything I want to do myself. Creatively, that is.

True, so the HG show is becoming an absolute beast and I'm so proud of what it is, but I messaged Emma on Monday night explaining that the show I'm writing for her just isn't good enough and probably won't be ready for Edinburgh. A part of that is my own standards being higher; back in the day I'd write an Edinburgh show in June, but also part of that is because I don't have the time to write a top script for an amazing, amazing actress who I like very much. It's agreed now that it may end up in Edinburgh 2020, or at least performed elsewhere once I'm happy with it.

It never used to be this way.

Got home from teaching and carried on writing, but feel tired from all that leaping about at 'work.' Maybe I shouldn't leap about so much in my lessons? Do other teachers leap about as much as I do? Do I need to leap at all?